Terror of the Kiddie Shows
by cheri1
Summary: Humor 10Rose The Doctor and Rose are kidnapped and forced into a virtual reality simulation where they must navigate their way through several cartoons and kids shows. can they escape and make it back to the real world with their sanity intact?
1. Prologue

Prologue

The Doctor and Rose struggled against the iron grip of the robots as they held their arms behind their backs. The black metal bodies blended in with the black room where they were standing side by side. In front of them stood a man dressed from head to toe in black. They had been visiting the planet Margenia when they had been snatched by the robots and brought before the man. So far the only thing the Doctor had learned about him was his name. The Cybermaster. He had never heard of the Cybermaster, but he was willing to be with a name like that, he didn't bring them to his lair for tea.

"So, at last I come face to face with the Doctor." The man said in a deep voice. "It is an honor to meet you."

He smiled at Rose.

"And this must be one of your companions. She's lovely." He said.

"Yeah. Anyway, what do you want with us?" the Doctor asked him.

"Ah, well, I suppose you've never heard of me." The Cybermaster said.

"You suppose right."

"Well, I specialize in virtual reality simulations." He said smiling proudly. "I have developed many programs over the years and I have gotten to the point where I can make a simulation so real that even a person's brain has trouble telling reality from fiction."

"Okay, so what's that got to do with us then?" the Doctor said. "I suppose you're gonna make us go through one of these simulations of yours."

"Very good, Doctor, that is my intention." He said. "You see, for years I have been developing a program that will trap people in my VR world and enslave them so I can use their bodies as a source of energy."

"Interesting, but I think the creators of the Matrix already beat you to that idea." The Doctor said.

The Cybermaster stared at him in confusion for a moment and then shrugged.

"Anyway, Doctor, whoever beat me to my idea surely didn't have the same genius as me."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Did you see the part where Neo bent over backwards while the bullets slowly went past him and then they did a 360 spin around his body? Brilliant. And the part where Trinity leapt into the air and stayed there before kicking the guy---"

"Whatever, Doctor, I'm not interested." The Cybermaster said dismissively. "The point is I have developed a new program and I'm eager for you and your assistant to test it out to see how effective it is."

He looked at the robots.

"Take them to the VR chamber."

The Doctor and Rose struggled as the robots carried them out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Doctor and Rose lay side by side restrained on long, cushioned tables. Behind them was a huge imposing machine with flashing lights and dials and buttons. The Cybermaster stood beside the Doctor and looked down at him.

"Now I'm aware of your fondness for planet Earth, so I have deliberately picked a program that is based on Earth shows, specifically cartoons and kid's shows. I'm curious to see how you and your companion handle being in the animated world. It should be very interesting. I have several different Earth cartoons that I've picked out. All you have to do is find a special door in each cartoon that will lead you from one scenario to the next. Eventually, when you get through all the cartoons, you will win and I'll let you go free."

"I thought you wanted to do this so you could enslave us and use our bodies for energy." The Doctor said.

"Well, I could do that, but I'm a sporting guy. I'll give you both a chance to fight for your freedom and see if you can get through the game with your minds intact. I want to see just how good you and your companion really are. If you can do that, I'll let you both go."

"How big of you." The Doctor replied.

"I don't believe you." Rose said. "I don't believe you'll set us free."

"I give you my word that if you win the game, I will let you go." The Cybermaster said.

"Hmmm, normally I would say you never kept your word before, why would you start now, except I have never met you before, so I'll reserve judgment on you." The Doctor replied. "In any case, we'll escape whether or not you're telling the truth because we are made of awesome and you're not."

"How amusing, Doctor." The Cybermaster replied. "But enough talk, time for you to match your wits against the VR world. Good luck."

He nodded to the robots and they slipped two bulky black VR helmets over the Doctor and Rose's heads and strapped them under their chins. When they were finished, the robots stepped back.

"You and your companion will both be able to see and interact with each other and you will have complete freedom of movement in the VR world. The only thing you won't be able to do is get out into the real world. You'll have to earn that privilege. Oh, and also your virtual bodies will change to reflect the show you are in. I thought that would be an amusing touch. So once again, good luck, Doctor. Don't lose your mind in there. I would hate for the greatest Time Lord in the universe to emerge from the simulation a drooling lunatic."

He walked over to the machine, pushed a few buttons and both the Doctor and Rose gasped as the virtual simulation started.


	2. Family Guy Part 1

A/N: I realize Family Guy is not exactly a kiddie show per say, but since the majority of shows I'm going to be using are for kids, that's why I chose the title. But, each time they go into another show, I will be giving the title of it so if you aren't interested in a show you can skip on, the different scenarios will be stand-alone, the only thing connecting them will be the door that they have to go through to get to the next one. Basically this whole thing is just an excuse to write comedy and goof off and have fun. I hope you like it! And now…

Chapter One

(Family Guy)

The Doctor looked around him at the cartoon world they were standing in. Logically, he knew it was just a virtual reality simulation that the Cybermaster had imprisoned them in, but the whole thing seemed so real to him. He looked down at his hands and body and noticed they looked exactly like a cartoon.

_Fascinating._ He thought to himself.

"Doctor?"

He looked over at Rose and couldn't help but grin. Rose looked bizarre. She had wide eyes and her lips were small and puckered. He giggled as she put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, you look just as weird as I do." She said.

"I don't doubt it. I have a feeling we're gonna go through a lot of weird incarnations of ourselves before we escape." He said. "Having said that, I think we should start looking for this door, the quicker we can find it, the quicker we can escape."

He took Rose's hand and they walked through the tiny town.

"I wonder where we're at?" Rose said.

"Does this cartoon look like one you've watched before?" the Doctor asked.

"No, how about you?"

The Doctor widened his eyes in shock.

"Me? I don't watch kid's shows, Rose. I'm a Time Lord; I watch more educational, enlightening programs."

"So, that's not you I see sitting in the den on the couch in your knickers watching Thomas the Tank Engine at six in the morning?"

She giggled as the Doctor gave her a flustered look.

"That's just…research." He stammered. "I am fascinated with Earth programs just as I'm fascinated with all things from your planet, but that doesn't mean I'm a fan of the show!"

"And you have to do this research in your knickers?"

"I like to be comfortable when I study things." He said sniffing.

"Whatever, Doctor." Rose muttered.

She glanced up at a sign above a shop.

QUAHOG HARDWARE STORE

"Quahog, where's that?" Rose said pulling on the Doctor's coat sleeve.

The Doctor looked up at it.

"Not sure." He said rubbing his ear. "Might be a real place, then again it might be imaginary. You can never tell in cartoons. Blimey, being here reminds me of another time I visited a strange place…

Suddenly, there was a jump cut and the scene shifted to a doctor's office. The first Doctor was standing in front of an exam table shifting uneasily while a doctor stared at him impatiently.

FIRST DOCTOR: I don't believe this is necessary.

DOCTOR: There is nothing to be afraid of sir; it's just a prostate exam. All men over the age of 50 need it once a year. Now if you'll just drop your pants and bend over the table, we'll get started.

FIRST DOCTOR: But I don't have a problem with my prostate, it's perfectly fine. My people don't get prostate cancer like humans do. I…"

DOCTOR (Yelling): Nurse, get in here! The old coot is resisting!

(The door flies open and a nurse with huge bulky Popeye muscles rushes in, grabs the Doctor, pulls his pants down, turns him around and lays on top of him.

DOCTOR: Thank you, nurse. Now, just relax Mister Smith, this will be a tad uncomfortable."

(The first Doctor's eyes widen and he whimpers when he hears the doctor snap the latex glove behind him.)

The scene shifts back to the Doctor and Rose. Rose smirks at him as his face reddens.

"You had a prostate exam then?" Rose asked him.

"Well, only once," the Doctor admitted. "It was in my first life and I assure you I did not go back for a second. I don't like people's fingers up my arse."

He looked around.

"Why did it suddenly show you my memory like that?" he mused.

Rose shrugged.

"Must be something to do with the cartoon." She said.

The Doctor sighed.

"All the more reason to get out of here. Come on, Rose, let's go find that door."

He took her hand and they resumed searching.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Aw, mom, do I have to?" Chris whined.

Lois Griffin sighed as she stared at her son. For the past half hour, she had been trying to get him to go outside and mow the lawn. She looked over at her corpulent husband who was lying on the couch shoveling nachos into his huge mouth.

"Peter, tell your son he has to mow the lawn." She said to him.

"Do as your mother says." Peter said, not taking his eyes off the TV.

"But, why can't dad do it?" Chris said pointing at Peter.

"I'm busy." Peter said through a mouthful of nachos. "Now go and mow the lawn. You don't want me to punish you like I did that one time…

(Jump cut)

(Chris is sitting on the bed in his room staring imploringly at Peter who is standing in the doorway.)

CHRIS: No dad, please, I won't raid the refrigerator between meals. For the love of God, please don't let Paris Hilton serve her jail sentence in my room.

PETER: You should have thought of that before you ate my chocolate cake. Now you will sit here and listen to Paris ramble on until you decide not to take food that doesn't belong to you.

(He slams the door. Chris looks over at Paris who is sitting in a small metal cage in the corner of his room.)

PARIS: So, I'm working on a new CD. Wanna hear me sing the first single off of it?

CHRIS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Cut back to the living room.)

Chris grumbled as he opened the door and stomped outside. He slams the door and Peter sighs and resumes shoveling nachos into his mouth.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(Meanwhile, upstairs…)

"Ah, almost finished." Stewie said as he put the finishing touches on his elaborate doomsday satellite. "Once I send this up into outer space, I will unleash hell upon the unsuspecting Earth."

He looked over at the little teddy bear beside him.

"You hear that, Rupert? Soon we will be rulers of the world and my first act as master of all will be to off that contemptible shrew, Lois. It shall be a glorious day when she is screaming and begging for mercy at my feet and…"

Stewie gasped as he felt a pair of hands grabbing him and lifting him off the floor.

"What the deuce?" he yelled.

"Come on, Stewie, mommy has to go to the store."

"Let go of me you vile woman! I have no time to go to the store! I have a world to conquer!"

"And if you are extra good, I'll let you pick out a toy while we're there."

"How dare you put your hands on…a…toy? I get a toy? I GET A TOY! Oh goody, oh goody, I get a toy! I love getting toys when we go to the store!"

Stewie smiled happily thinking of what toy he wanted as Lois carried him down the stairs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ah, what a relief," Brian said as he walked away from the fire hydrant. "I hate having to hold it in when I'm out."

He walked back towards home. On the way, he noticed a man and a woman walking the other way. He stopped.

"Hmmm, never seen them before." He said to himself.

He stood and watched as they passed him.

"Howdy, nice to meet you." He said to the woman.

Rose stopped and stared at him.

"Doctor," she said.

"Yes, Rose." The Doctor said stopping.

"That dog just said hello to me."

The Doctor shrugged.

"It's a cartoon, remember? Anything can happen."

He took her hand.

"Come on; let's see if we can get some information from him. Maybe he has a clue about where this door might be." He said to her.

"Hello there." The Doctor said to him." I'm the Doctor and this is Rose."

"Mornin', Name's Brian Griffin." The dog replied. "Haven't seen you two in Quahog before."

"Yes. Well, we're just…um…visiting." The Doctor replied. "We were actually looking for a door. Do you have any idea where we might find one?"

Brian stared at him. He pointed to all the doors around him.

"Take your pick." Brian said.

"No, we're looking for a certain door. Do you know if there is a glowing door or a funny shaped door or a door that looks unusual." The Doctor said.

Brian stared at him.

"The only time I see funny shaped doors is when I've had one too many martinis." He replied.

Rose stared at him.

"You drink martinis?" She said.

"Yeah, I'm over the legal limit. You got a problem with that?"

"Um…no." Rose said. "No problem at all."

"So what you're saying is you are looking for an out of the ordinary door." Brian said looking at the Doctor.

"Yes, that's right." The Doctor replied.

"Heh, that brings back memories. I remember the last time I had to find a door that was out of the ordinary…"

(Jump cut.)

(Brian is standing in a room, surrounded on all sides by doors. A sinister looking figure is standing behind him.)

SINISTER FIGURE: Now, in order to escape this room of death, you must find the correct door. But, be warned, you must choose the right door. All but one of them leads to a horrible, painful death! Good luck! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!

(Brian watches as the sinister figure walks to a door behind him, opens it, walks out and closes it. He stands staring at the door for a moment and then goes over and opens it. The sinister man stares at him in disbelief as he walks out of the room.)

SINISTER FIGURE: But…but how did you figure it out so quickly?

(Brian shrugs.)

BRIAN: I just went out the same door you did.

SINISTER FIGURE: CURSES! I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS DEATH TRAP THROUGH BEFORE I PUT SOMEONE IN IT!

(Cut back to the Doctor and Rose and Brian.)

"And now it's showing your memories. Blimey, that's annoying." The Doctor said.

Brian looked at his watch.

"Listen, it's been nice chatting with you. But, I've gotta go. I gotta get home and take a flea bath. I've been getting kinda mangy lately."

He stared at them.

"Listen, you guys got anywhere to go?" he asked.

The Doctor and Rose stared at each other.

"Um, no, not really." Rose said.

"Hmmm, well, why don't you come home with me. Supper will be ready soon and Lois always makes more than enough for everyone. Have something to eat while you figure out this whole door thing."

Rose looked at the Doctor.

"You want to?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"Why not? Might as well grab a bite to eat while we sort this thing out."

"Well, follow me then…and I apologize in advance if you guys get fleas. I keep forgetting to ask Lois to get me a flea collar from the store. So, if you start itching, you'll know who to blame."

The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other and then followed Brian as he led them towards his house.


	3. Family Guy Part 2

Chapter Two

"Here we are." Brian said as he pointed to the modest two story house in front of him. "Home, sweet, home."

He stared at Chris who was panting in the hot sun as he mowed the lawn.

"This is Chris." He told them.

He led them up to the door.

"Hey, everyone, I'm home." He said as he opened the door.

He looked around while the Doctor and Rose came up beside him. He walked over to the couch and noticed Peter was passed out. He was snoring loudly and nacho cheese was caked on his mouth and hands.

"This is Peter Griffin, Don't mind him, he's sleeping off a nacho cheese high," He said as the Doctor and Rose glanced over the couch at him. "Anyway, the kitchen is this way. Lois should be in there cooking dinner and…"

He paused as he went into the kitchen and noticed no one was in it.

"Or maybe not." He said.

He thought a moment.

"Oh, yeah, she had to go to the store and she probably took Stewie with her, so that leaves Meg. And Meg is probably in her room at the moment, which I would advise going in to. Lots of creepy, disturbing girl stuff in there. So…"

He pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down in it. He motioned for Rose and the Doctor to do the same.

"You want to find a door?" he said to them.

""Yes, that's right, it is some kind of door that will allow us to escape from here." The Doctor replied.

Brian frowned.

"Escape? I don't understand." He said.

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"Let's just say that we came to this town against our will." He said.

Brian chuckled.

"I can understand that completely. I think the only people who come to Quahog voluntarily are lost or insane."

He held up his hands.

"I am neither. I'm just here because I have a job being the family pet." He said. "And believe me, it's quite a job."

"I understand completely." The Doctor said. "I travel for a living, but there have been a couple of times when I've tried to get odd jobs to pass the time and earn a little bit of cash. In fact, there was this one time…

(Jump cut.)

(The Sixth Doctor is standing in a circus tent facing a middle aged man who is sitting behind a card table.)

SIXTH DOCTOR: You've got to be kidding me! I can do this job! Why can't you hire me?

MAN: I'm sorry, sir, but you're just not qualified enough to come work for Ringling Brothers. Just because you're dressed like a clown does not mean you can be one!

(Cut back to the kitchen.)

The Doctor eyes Rose as she snickers. Ignoring her, he looks at Brian.

"That happen often?" he asked

Brian frowned.

"Does what happen often?"

"The whole showing of the memories thing?"

"Oh yeah, it happens all the time. You get used to it, trust me." Brian said shrugging. "So, you're a traveler then?"

"Yes, we are."

"Why did you come here then? I mean, Quahog is boring. If you're looking for sights, there aren't very many."

"I told you, Rose and I are here against our will. In order to leave, we have to find this door."

"Well, I'd say that narrows your search down to about 500,000 doors then. Do you know exactly what it looks like?"

The Doctor sighed.

"No, I'm not sure if it even is a door in the usual sense of the word. It could be a portal or tunnel or wormhole or something."

Brian stared at him.

"You watch a lot of Star Trek episodes, don't you?" he asked.

"Well…yes, but that's beside the point." The Doctor said. "The point is we're not really sure what we're looking for. All we know is it's somewhere in this city…I hope."

"You hope? You mean you're not even sure this door is in Quahog?"

"No, we're not sure of anything except that we're stuck here."

"Why are you stuck here? Who forced you to come here?" Brian asked.

The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other.

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you." The Doctor replied.

"Heh, I've seen a lot of strange things living in this house. So, try me."

They glanced at each other.

"We were captured by a man who calls himself the Cybermaster." The Doctor said. "He imprisoned us here and we have to find a door that allows us to escape into another dimension or show or whatever. If we do it enough times, we free ourselves…or so he claims."

Brian stared at him.

"You know, you're awfully thin. You smoke crack?"

"No, I don't smoke crack!" the Doctor said as Rose giggled. "I'm telling you the truth!"

"Well, where did you meet this…Cybermaster?"

The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other.

"He…um…kidnapped us." The Doctor said hesitantly. "He wants to take over the universe and he has this virtual reality program that will help him do it."

"You sure this guy isn't named Stewie?"

The Doctor frowned.

"No, why do you ask?"

"Because the kid that lives here fits that description. Nuttier than a fruit cake. Always planning some crazy scheme to take over the universe."

The Doctor perked up.

"Really? How close has he gotten to taking over the universe?" he asked.

Brian snorted.

"The closest he's ever gotten to taking over the universe is watching Darth Vader on TV."

He paused for a moment.

"Speaking of Star Wars, I actually did try to convince this one friend of mine to do a screen-test for the movie, because he was working a dead end job at the time…"

(Jump cut)

Brian is standing outside a blue phone booth. A metal dog is beside him.

BRIAN: I'm telling ya, man, this is a dead end job. You need to go work for George Lucas. This Star Wars movie is the future, not this two bit operation.

K9: I cannot leave Doctor-Master; I must stay and protect him and mistress.

BRIAN: No, listen to me. Star Wars is looking for droids. You would make a good one. You'd get a lot more respect over there not to mention a bigger budget. They could fix you. I mean, look at you, you don't even have real legs, they're just etched into the side of your body. I mean, what is the point of that? And K9 as a name for a robot dog? How unoriginal can you get? You need more respect and a better pay rate and Lucas can give you that!

FOURTH DOCTOR (yelling off screen.) K9, where are you? I need help! The Daleks are after us and Romana!

K9: I must go! The master needs me!

BRIAN: No, wait, listen to me! He's using you! When he's done with you, he'll throw you on the scrap heap! You are making a mistake! Come back here, you fool! Don't be an ass-kisser! I can get you a screen test, I promise!

K9: I am coming, master!

(Brian sighs as K9 rolls away. He shakes his head sadly. Turning his head around, he looks up at a Dalek sitting beside him.)

BRIAN: How about you? They're looking for an R2-D2. Interested?

(Cut back to the kitchen.)

The Doctor stared at him in disbelief.

"Wait a minute. You knew K9?" he said as he and Rose stared at him in shock.

Brian was about to answer when he heard the front door open and close.

"We're back!" he heard Lois say.

"I'll be right back." Brian said hopping off his chair.

There was a moment's pause and then Brian entered with Lois behind him.

"Here they are." He said to Lois.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. Brian said you want to stay for supper. You are certainly welcome to do that." Lois replied.

"Thanks. We appreciate it." The Doctor said.

"Loooooooois, I want a juice box!" Stewie whined as he walked into the kitchen.

He stopped short when he saw the Doctor staring at him in shock.

"No, it can't be." Stewie said.

"No, it can't be." The Doctor said.

Rose stared at the Doctor in confusion as he got up and stared at Stewie with barely contained rage.

"Doctor, what is it?"

The Doctor looked at Lois.

"Could you excuse us for a moment?" he said to her as he grabbed Rose's arm.

"Um, yeah, sure." Lois replied.

They watched, confused, as the Doctor ushered Rose out of the kitchen.

"What's gotten into them?" Lois asked.

"Search me." Brian said shrugging.

Meanwhile, Stewie stood and glared at the Doctor and Rose as he watched them walking outside.

"So, Doctor, we meet again at last, and this time you shall not escape me." He muttered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Doctor, what's going on? What's wrong?" Rose said as the Doctor closed the door.

The Doctor took her by the arms.

"Rose, I don't know if this is real, it might be the Cybermaster accessing my memories and messing with my mind, but that baby isn't as innocent as he seems!"

"What do you mean, Doctor?"

The Doctor sighed.

"He's a Time Lord, Rose. And his name is the Master."


	4. Family Guy Part 3

Chapter Three

Rose stared at him in shock.

"But how can that be? You're the last of the Time Lords. How can that little baby be a Time Lord too?"

"I told you, Rose; the Cybermaster might be accessing my memories and using them to put my greatest and deadliest enemy in this cartoon. I was a fool to think he would just let us go through these simulations unopposed. We have to be on our toes from here on out."

"But, a baby? Why would the Cybermaster put this Master into a baby?" Rose asked.

"I'm not sure, maybe he was hoping I wouldn't know it was him." The Doctor replied. "But, he didn't take into account that Time Lords are able to recognize one another. That's how I know it's him."

"Doctoooooooooooor!"

The Doctor and Rose turned and saw the Master standing at the huge picture window screaming at them.

"I will destroy you, Doctor, if it's the last thing I do!" he was yelling at them. "You shall not escape me!"

They watched as Lois came up behind him.

"For God's sake, Stewie, stop screaming. Daddy is trying to sleep." She said picking him up.

"No! Let me go, you meddling harpy!" the Master screamed as Lois turned and carried him away. "I will not be denied my victory over the Doctor! I will kill him and I will kill his companion! They will suffer at my hands! Doctooooooooooooor!"

Rose looked at the Doctor.

"What do we do?" she asked.

"I think we should find someplace else to stay until we can find the door," The Doctor said. "Someplace where the Master won't be breathing down our necks. Come on."

They walked away. They got to the edge of the yard when suddenly there was a bright flash of light, a painful shock and they were flung backwards onto the lawn.

"What the hell?" The Doctor said getting to his feet.

He walked back over to the lawn and tentatively reached his hand out. There was the same bright flash and the Doctor withdrew his hand as the electric shock coursed through his body.

"It's a force field." He said to Rose. "We're trapped here."

"We can't be." Rose said.

She walked over to another part of the lawn, reached out her hand and drew it back when the force field shocked her.

"It's a trap." The Doctor said grimly. "The Cybermaster designed it so that Brian would lead us back here. Now we have no choice but to stay here with the Master."

They jerked around when they heard a pounding. They looked up at the second floor window and saw the Master pounding on the window screaming curses at them.

"You will die, Doctor! I will not be denied my triumph! I will see you and your companion begging for mercy at my feet!"

"Oh, hell no." Rose muttered.

"'Fraid so. We can't go anywhere, at least for the moment. I suspect as soon as we defeat the Master, the door will open and we can go through to the next show."

"You think so?" Rose asked.

The Doctor nodded.

"Otherwise, why imprison us here? The Cybermaster isn't making this easy for us. I suspect every scenario we go through will have some kind of danger attached to it. Hopefully, we'll be able to avoid dying in here, since that would be a severe shock to our minds and cause us to go into cardiac arrest and die for real. The Cybermaster knows how much of a threat we are to his operation, so I'm sure he'll try every way possible to kill us. I doubt seriously if there even is a way out, we'll probably just keep on going from show to show until something finally gets us and we die."

He glanced up at the Master who was staring out the window at him with utter hate.

"Well, we can't stay out here. If we must defeat the Master to advance, we might as well go back inside and face him." The Doctor said. "The quicker we can defeat him, the quicker we can leave."

Rose nodded. They took each other's hands and slowly walked back into the house.

"There you are." Brian said. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine." The Doctor said. "We just needed to discuss something in private."

"Oh, well, Lois is getting dinner ready now, so it shouldn't be too long. In the meantime, you're welcome to just hang out. I gotta go get my bath."

Brian walked over to the stairs and went up. The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"You wanna do this?" he asked her.

"Yeah, let's get it over with." Rose replied.

The Doctor squeezed her hand. They walked over to the stairs and slowly walked up. They stepped onto the second floor and walked down a long hallway past several rooms. The Doctor slowly opened the doors that were shut and looked inside. Finally, they looked into an open door and saw the Master working on a satellite. He looked up when the Doctor and Rose stepped into the room.

"So, Doctor, we meet again." The Master said. "I have been dreaming about this day since you last imprisoned me in the Eye of Harmony."

The Doctor glanced at Rose and smiled when she shot him a confused look.

"So," he said deciding to play along. "How did you get out? I thought you were on your last life when you went into the Eye."

"Ah, but the Time Lords resurrected me to fight in the Time War." The Master replied.

He glanced down at his infant body.

"Of course, they were in a bit of a rush to get me in there so I could fight and didn't think the whole resurrection thing through properly, hence this damnable infant body." He said. "But, just because I am an infant doesn't mean I can't destroy you both!"

Rose glanced at the Doctor.

"Is all that true?" she asked.

"As far as I know, no. The last I saw of him was when he was sucked into the Eye of Harmony." He muttered to her. "Again, the Cybermaster could be pulling together bits and pieces of my memories to make a fake resurrection tale. Who knows in this reality?"

He pointed to the satellite.

"So, what are you going to do with that?" he asked him.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know, Doctor." The Master grinned rubbing his hands together.

"I would like to know, actually." The Doctor replied.

"Well, I won't tell you. You'll just have to guess!"

"It's some kind of hypnotic device." Brian said walking into the room with a towel wrapped around his torso. "I hear him muttering about it all the time. He's supposed to launch it into outer space and it'll broadcast some hypnotic signal that will cause people to elect him Prime Minister and then he'll kill the other leaders, take over the Earth and rule everyone. You can't believe a word he says, he's full of shit!"

"I am not, Brian! The device will work!"

"Yeah, right, how you gonna launch it? Make a slingshot out of your Pampers? You've had some pretty stupid ideas, Stewie, but this takes the cake!"

"My idea is not stupid!" the Master shot back.

"Yes, It is, it's like that idiotic delusion you were telling me about that one day. Some stupid plan you had when you were called the Master or something…"

(Jump cut.)

(The Master is in an office standing behind a black inflatable chair. McDermott is looking at it hesitantly.)

THE MASTER: Sit down, try it out. It's comfy!

MCDERMOTT: Um, I'd rather not!

THE MASTER: SIT, I COMMAND YOU!

(The Master smiles when McDermott looks at him, shocked.)

THE MASTER: Please.

(The Master feigns innocence. McDermott sits down in the inflatable chair.)

MCDERMOTT: It's moving.

(Suddenly the chair begins to fold over and suffocate him. The Master laughs.)

THE MASTER: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! THAT'S RIGHT. DIE! DIE FOR YOUR INSUBORDINATION! YOU WILL SUFFOCATE IN MY PLASTIC CHAIR. I…will…

(He watches as the man succumbs to the inflatable chair. He pauses a moment and then walks off stage. The cameramen and director watch him as he walks up to Terrance Dicks and taps him on the shoulder.)

TERRANCE DICKS: Yeah?

THE MASTER: Death by inflatable chair? Is that the best you could come up with?

TERRANCE DICKS: You didn't like that?

THE MASTER: No, it was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. I mean, I realize we're on a shoestring budget here, but you couldn't come up with something better?

(Terrance shifts nervously as he looks around. He leans in and whispers.)

TERRENCE DICKS: Well, to tell you the truth, I had no choice. I had to write the inflatable chair into the script.

THE MASTER: What? Why?

(Terrance glances around and leaned back in.)

TERRANCE DICKS: Well, see, Wonder Plastic Company just came out with their new line of inflatable chairs and they're trying to get consumers interested, and they know how popular this show is, so they asked the BBC to put one of their chairs into the script in return for a substantial amount of money.

THE MASTER: You don't mean…

TERRANCE DICKS: Yup, product placement.

(The Master looks at him in shock. He looks back at the inflatable chair and lets out an angry sigh as he walks back on set.)

THE MASTER: Product placement, I can't believe it! I mean, the way the show is going eventually they're gonna ask me to dress up like Doctor Strange and spit yellow bile on people. I really need to renegotiate my contract!

(Cut back to Stewie's room.)

"See," Brian said gesturing to Stewie. "The kid is obviously insane. I mean, come on, inflatable chairs? How lame can you get?"

"It was not lame! It was ingenious! That stupid sod didn't see it coming! His death was quick and thorough without any mess." the Master said.

Rose looked at the Doctor.

"Is all that true?" she whispered.

"Um, the Master did work with the Nestene Consciousness in my third life. But as for an inflatable chair killing someone, I really have no idea if that happened or not." He whispered back.

"But if it's coming from your memories…"

The Doctor shrugged.

"That's just a theory. The Cybermaster could be using other things to gather information for this scenario."

"What the blazes are you two whispering about?" The Master asked.

"Probably talking about how much of an idiot you are." Brian said.

"Shut up, dog. I wasn't talking to you!" the Master said pointing at him.

"Anyway, why don't the two of you go back downstairs and let the infant work on his little toy. I'm sure supper is nearly done." Brian said to the Doctor and Rose.

The Doctor eyed the Master warily.

"Alright," he said. "Come on, Rose, let's go back downstairs."

The Master glowered at him as he put his hand on Rose's back and led her out of the room. Brian watched them go and then turning his head to the Master he let out a chuckle and left the room. The Master stood with his fists clenched, enraged and then, he calmed down as an evil smile slowly spread over his face.

"Just you wait, Doctor," he said."The minute you let your guard down, I will strike! And when I do, you will be sorry."


	5. Family Guy Part 4

Chapter Four

By the time the Doctor and Rose got back to the kitchen, supper was done. Peter was sitting anxious with knife and fork in hand. He frowned as he looked at the Doctor and Rose.

"Who is this?" he said to Lois.

"Peter, this is the Doctor and Rose. They're staying for supper. Now be nice to them while I go get Stewie."

She turned to them.

"Just make yourselves comfortable and I'll be right back." She said.

"Thanks, we will." The Doctor replied.

She walked out of the room as Peter eyed them suspiciously.

"So…how do you know Lois?" he asked.

"Well, we don't really know her that well, we're just in town and we met Brian and he invited us back here for supper." The Doctor explained.

"Did he now?"

"Yes, and um…we'll try not to impose. We really just want to eat and get going." The Doctor replied.

"I see, so why are you in town?" Peter asked.

"We're um…travelers." The Doctor said.

"Really, where do you travel?"

"Everywhere." Rose replied.

"What do you do for a living?"

"Um, travel, that's really all we do. Just travel around and have adventures." The Doctor said.

"Wow, sweet, beats some of the jobs I've had in the past…

(Jump cut…)

(A morgue. Peter is sitting with another hefty guy watching TV. They look over as someone wheels in a dead body.)

MORGUE ATTENDANT: Your turn to document.

(Peter sighs. He rises from his chair, grabs a clipboard and walks over to the gurney. He checks the toe tag.)

PETER: John Doe. Wow, that's like the fifth John Doe this week. It sure is a popular name.

(He pulls the sheet back and makes notes. Finishing up, he takes it into the freezer and walks back out. He settles back down beside the morgue attendant as 'Frankenstein' starts. Peter gets so engrossed in the movie that he doesn't notice at first that the morgue attendant is tapping him on the shoulder.)

PETER: What?

MORGUE ATTENDANT: You didn't finish documenting. Now get in there and finish your paperwork.

PETER: Aw, can't it wait until after the movie?

MORGUE ATTENDANT: Now!

(Peter sighs and rises from the chair. Grumbling, he takes the clipboard and heads back to the freezer as the morgue attendant settles back in his chair. He opens the freezer door and locates the body. Sighing, he pulls back the sheet and starts making notes again. As he does, lighting begins to crackle all over the dead man's body. Peter pauses and watches as the dead man's face begins to contort.)

PETER: Hmmm, now that shouldn't be happening.

(He stares at the lightning for a moment and then walks back to the freezer door and opens it.)

PETER: Hey!

(The morgue attendant looks over at him.)

MORGUE ATTENDANT: What is it?

PETER: Um, what do you do if lightning starts shooting from the body and the face turns into silly putty? Is there a form you have to fill out for that?

MORGUE ATTENDANT: Just get in there and finish your work.

PETER: Yes, but…

(Peter sighs and shuts the door. He goes back to the body and frowns when he sees a man standing by the gurney looking around confused as he wraps the sheet around himself.)

PETER: Excuse me, but do you work here?

(The man turns to him with a frightened and confused look on his face.)

MAN: WHO…AM…I?

PETER: Got me, buddy, I just work here.

(He glances down at the empty gurney.)

PETER: Um, you didn't happen to see a dead body anywhere around here?

(The man gasps.)

MAN: I must get out of here!

PETER: I hear ya! I hate my job too. It's so boring and tedious and the smell from these dead bodies…Um, sir, I don't think you should pound on the door like that. See, that's hospital property and they kinda frown on you denting it and…

(Peter jumps back as the man hits the door and it falls over with a bang. He watches as the man steps out into the morgue and the attendant cries out and faints. The man stares at him for a moment and then shuffles off. Peter looks at the door and the unconscious attendant.)

PETER: Riiiiight, I think I'll take a break now and let someone else clean this up.

(Whistling nervously, he creeps out the door and shuts it behind him.)

(Cut back to kitchen.)

The Doctor stared at him.

"You weren't there." He said.

"Yes, I was."

"No, I mean I realize I was kinda out of it, but I think I would remember someone like you standing there with me."

"How do you know, buddy, you weren't even there!" Peter protested. "I think I would remember working in a morgue and seeing some weird, ugly guy standing there."

"Whatever," the Doctor muttered. "I'm not gonna argue."

He looked over as Chris and Meg entered the room. Chris sat down beside Peter and Meg sat down beside Chris. The Doctor looked at them.

"So, these are your two boys then?" he asked.

"I'm not a boy, I'm a girl." Meg protested.

The Doctor stared at her. He reached into his pocket, put on his reading glasses and took a good, long look at her.

"Oh, I guess you are, my mistake, sorry." He said.

He took off his glasses and put them back in his jacket pocket.

"So, these are your children?" he corrected himself as Meg sighed.

"Yes, this is Chris and that is Meg." Peter said.

The Doctor smiled at both of them.

"Sorry about mistaking you for a boy." He said to Meg.

"That's okay; you aren't the first one to do that." Meg replied.

They looked over as Brian entered the room. He sat beside Meg. Lois then entered holding the Master in her arms. The Doctor and the Master eyed one another. Lois pushed the high chair over beside the Doctor and sat the Master inside it. The Master gave the Doctor an evil grin as Lois went to fix the plates.

"You will die, Doctor." He said softly.

"What are you gonna do? Drown me with drool?" the Doctor said.

The Master glared at him. The Doctor looked over as Lois started setting plates in front of everyone. Rose glanced over at the Doctor. Her eyes widened when she looked past him.

"Doctor!" she said pointing to the Master.

The Doctor looked over. The Master was pointing a ray gun at him.

"Now, Doctor, you will die." He said narrowing his eyes. "I will---"

"Stewie Griffin, how many times have I told you, no toys at the dinner table?" Lois said plucking the gun from his grip.

"NO! Damn you woman! Give that back!" the Master said as the Doctor and Rose snickered. "I must kill the Doctor! You will not deny me my vengeance!"

"Aw, what's wrong, Master? Was your little ray gun confiscated?" he asked him.

"Don't think that will stop me, Doctor. I will destroy you once and for all!" the Master hissed at him.

The Doctor grinned as he tickled him under the chin. He jerked his finger back when the Master snapped at it.

"Oh, naughty, naughty, behave or I'll give you a spanking." He said wagging his finger at him.

"You may think you are funny, Doctor, but you will not be laughing when I get through with you."

Lois put plates in front of the Doctor and Rose. They both began to eat while Lois got a small plate with pureed food and sat down beside the Master. The Doctor tried not to laugh as he watched Lois feeding the Master mashed carrots and peas. He nudged Rose and both of them snickered as the Master glared at them. The Doctor turned back to his plate trying not to laugh as he heard the Master muttering at him between bites of pureed food.


	6. Family Guy Part 5

Chapter Five

"Sorry, we don't have extra beds; you'll have to sleep in the living room." Lois said to the Doctor and Rose.

"It's fine, we'll manage." The Doctor replied.

Peter stared at them.

"You really wanna stay here that badly? I mean, I could try to find you a hotel or something." He said.

"No, we'd rather not. See, we love staying in people's houses when we travel. It adds to the whole experience." The Doctor replied.

"Uh-huh," Peter said. "Well, I'm sure getting an enema adds to the whole experience of visiting a nursing home, but I'm not gonna do it. Still, whatever floats your boat, pal. You guys wanna experience Rhode Island by staying in a dirty, cluttered house in the suburbs, who am I to stand in your way?"

"Rhode Island. Oh, is that where we're at?" the Doctor blurted out.

He coughed nervously as Peter eyed him.

"Um I mean, yes of course we're in Rhode Island. It's a beautiful state. Teeny, but beautiful."

"Riiiiight. Well, Lois and I have to go upstairs now, just, you know, don't rob us or kill us or anything like that, kay?"

He pushed on Lois's back.

"Come along, dear." He muttered to her.

Lois started up the stairs; Peter started to follow her and then stopped.

"Oh, and just so you know; I have an ass groove in the couch that took me years to create. Please don't get it messed up in one night, kay? Just throwing that out there. So, good night, weird, creepy British people who I sincerely hope aren't psychopathic murderers who came here intending to slit our throats and make us drink our own blood as we die."

Peter turned and walked up the stairs as the Doctor and Rose looked at each other.

"Man, I wish the Cybermaster hadn't locked us in here." The Doctor said. "I'll be glad when we defeat the Master and---"

"Oh, and just so you know," Peter said coming halfway down the stairs. "If you're thinking of raping Lois, condoms are under the mattress on my side of the bed."

He paused a moment.

"Um…If you're gonna rape me; please put extra lubricant on them, would ya? Well, night!"

Peter ran up the stairs as The Doctor sighed angrily.

"Ugh, I'm so glad I don't watch this cartoon, I think I would have put my foot through the screen by now." He muttered.

He ran his hand down the back of his head.

"Being here kinda reminds me of the time…"

His eyes widened as he realized what he was saying.

"No!" he yelled as he threw out his hands. "Don't go to my mem…"

(Jump cut.)

(Peter is sitting in the Millennium Falcon dressed like Han Solo. He is staring out the window.)

PETER: Man, hyperspace always looks so freaky.

(The Doctor Who theme begins to play as Tom Baker rises up in front of the window.)

(Cut to living room.)

"What the Hell was that?" the Doctor said looking around. "That wasn't even my memory!"

He shook his head.

"Come on, Rose, let's go to sleep before something else happens."

He looked at the couch.

"You want the couch and I'll take the floor?"

"Um, you sure?"

The Doctor nodded.

"Yeah, you're the lighter one. I'm sure you won't mess up his…ass groove. Anyway, I don't need to sleep, so I'll be on the lookout for the Master since I'm sure he'll be making an appearance soon."

He took Rose's hands.

"Goodnight, Rose."

"Goodnight, Doctor."

They kissed each other on the lips.

"Dad!" Chris screamed as he watched them from the stairs. "The freaky British psychos are making out in the living room!"

"That's nice, Chris, now get upstairs and go to bed before they decide to rape you too." Peter called back.

"Alright." Chris said sadly.

He trudged up the stairs as the Doctor slowly counted to ten.

Finally, he reached ten and his blood pressure returned to normal. Rose gave him a peck on the cheek and she settled down on the couch as the Doctor lay down beside her on the floor. He turned onto his side and put his arm under his head as he kept his eyes on the stairs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

(Two hours later…)

The Doctor jerked his head up when he heard someone coming down the darkened stairs towards them. He got to his knees and reached behind him for Rose's arm.

"Rose!"

"M'uh?"

"Here he comes."

Rose jerked awake. She sat up on the couch and put her hand on the Doctor's shoulder as they watched the shadowy figure descending the stairs. The Doctor reached into his jacket pocket and got out his sonic screwdriver. He tensed his muscles and then jabbed his screwdriver at the figure when he stepped into the shadows.

"Whoa!" Peter said throwing up his hands. "It's just me; I'm coming down for a midnight snack, so no butt sex please."

He looked down at the sonic screwdriver.

"Oh my God, that's a dildo! You were gonna rape me!"

"It is not a dildo and Rose and I aren't rapists!" the Doctor yelled.

"Phew, good, I was worried about how I'd be making my sandwich while keeping one hand over my asshole. Anyway, I'm off to the kitchen so you can relax."

Peter walked on as the Doctor relaxed. Rose groaned and slammed back down on the couch as the Doctor lay back down on the floor.

Several minutes later, Peter came back holding a sub sandwich in his hands. He paused and looked down at the Doctor.

"Just out of curiosity, was that a dildo you had in your hand?"

"No!" the Doctor said angrily.

"Just checking. I mean, I'm not against kinky sex, mind you. I remember one time when Lois and I were---"

He was cut off when the Doctor leapt up and slammed his hand over his mouth.

"For the love of Rassilon, don't say anything more." He said with a desperate look in his eyes. "I'm already being tormented with twisted versions of my own memories. I don't feel like viewing your depraved, perverted memories along with them."

He took his hand off Peter's mouth.

"Um...quick question," Peter said. "Do you travel around because you're trying to keep from getting yourself thrown in the looney bin?"

The Doctor let out a huge sigh.

"Yes! I am," He said throwing up his hands. "I'm a homicidal, rapist, lunatic who enjoys sleeping in people's houses and buggering them when they're not looking. Then, once I'm done shagging them, Rose and I tie them up, carry them down to the basement and I beat them to death with my little dildo!"

Peter scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"Hmmm, thought as much." He said. "Good, Chris and I had a little bet running and now he owes me ten dollars. Thanks for clearing things up."

The Doctor stared at him.

"You're very welcome." He said.

Peter smiled at him and walked back up the stairs munching on his sandwich. The Doctor looked over at Rose.

"I said all that and he didn't bat an eye."

Rose shrugged.

"It's a cartoon. People say weird things all the time and no one bats an eye. Look at Bugs Bunny."

The Doctor nodded.

"Yeah, you're right. I keep forgetting logic works differently here."

He settled down beside Rose. He looked over his shoulder when he heard Rose giggling.

"What?" he said.

"Dildo." Rose said.

The Doctor smiled and rolled his eyes as Rose giggled to herself.

"Go to sleep, Rose." He said to her.

After a few minutes, the giggles died away and Rose went back to sleep as the Doctor resumed his vigil.


	7. Family Guy Part 6

Chapter Six

(Two hours later…)

The Doctor jerked his head up when he heard someone coming down the stairs. For a moment he figured it was Peter coming back for another snack, but then he noticed the person was midget sized.

"Rose." He said nudging her arm.

"Huh?"

"Wake up, here he comes." The Doctor said.

Rose rolled over and slowly opened her eyes.

"Are you sure it's not Peter again?" she mumbled at him.

"At last, Doctor, I shall have my revenge!"

"Pretty sure." The Doctor said rolling his eyes.

He and Rose got to their feet as the Master emerged from the shadows.

"So, Doctor, we meet again." He said to him.

The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"Do you have to say that? It's so cliché." He said.

The Master considered that.

"Yes, I guess you're right. Still, it's become a bit of a habit with me and habits are hard to break."

The Doctor nodded.

The Master looked at Rose.

"So…is this…um…. Grace, was it? That's who you were with before I died. Her and that idiot Chinese kid, Lee."

"No, this is Rose. Grace and Lee decided not to travel with me." The Doctor replied.

"Oh really, what a shame. Seems like the two of you were hitting it off from what I could see. I seem to recall seeing you kiss her when I looked through your eyes."

The Doctor paused. He looked over at Rose who was eyeing him and gave her a sheepish smile.

"You kissed someone else, did ya?" she said.

The Doctor's eyes widened.

"Rose, that was two lives ago, alright? I didn't even know you then, so don't start in with the jealousy thing."

He looked back at the Master.

"So, I suppose we take this outside?" he asked him.

"If that is what you wish. No matter where we fight I will defeat you and then I shall have your lives."

The Doctor sighed.

"Rassilon, are you still fixated on that?" he said.

"Yes, Doctor, I am. Even more so now that I'm stuck in this idiotic infant body. I will destroy you and harvest your lives for my own."

"Yeah, well, don't plan what you're gonna do with my regenerations just yet. I defeated you in the past and I can do it again."

"We shall see, Doctor. And now, to battle!"

"Right! To battle!"

The Doctor tensed his muscles as the Master readied himself. Then, without warning, the Doctor kicked the Master directly in the head as hard as he could. As the Master sailed back towards the stairs, the Doctor grabbed Rose's hand and they ran towards the door.

"DAMN YOU, DOCTOR!" they heard him scream as they ran outside.

The Doctor and Rose ran up to the perimeter of the yard. He extended his hand and cursed when he felt the shock course through his body.

"Well, that didn't do us much good." The Doctor said as he and Rose turned to face the house.

The Master ran outside and stopped short when he noticed the Doctor and Rose standing at the edge of the yard staring at him.

"What the deuce? Why didn't you just run for it when you had the chance?" he asked the Doctor.

"Believe me, I would if I could, but Rose and I are trapped here."

The Master frowned.

"Trapped? In what way?"

"There's a force field surrounding the house. Rose and I can't get through."

"What? What are you on about?"

The Master walked over to the edge of the yard. The Doctor and Rose watched as he walked off the property with no resistance. He turned and stared at them.

"What force field?" he said to them.

The Doctor reached out his hand and drew it back when he felt the familiar shock.

"There's a force field trapping us here, apparently it only works for us." He said to him.

An evil grin spread over the Master's face.

"Oh really? How delightful." He said rubbing his hands. "Then, I will be able to dispatch you both with ease and then I will resume work on my satellite and then I shall RULE THE WORLD!"

He let out an evil laugh.

"Yeah well, like I said, don't celebrate your victory yet. You still have to defeat me and Rose."

The Master walked back onto the property.

"Then, I shall waste no more time. Say goodbye to your lives, Doctor, because they are about to be mine."

He paused when he noticed the smile on the Doctor's face.

"What are you grinning about?" he asked him.

"Oh, I'm just thinking about how completely brilliant I am." The Doctor said. "Because I just came up with a way to distract you long enough for Rose and I to get away and hide."

"Oh really? What is this brilliant distraction then?" the Master asked folding his arms over his chest.

The Doctor grinned. He opened his mouth and said in a loud voice.

"BEING OUT HERE REMINDS ME OF THE TIME WHEN…"

(Jump Cut.)

Romana II is standing at the TARDIS console. The inner door opens and the fourth Doctor comes in the room. He comes up beside her and looks at the monitor.

DOCTOR: I have detected the presence of my old enemies, the Daleks. Davros must be up to no good again.

(He looks at Romana with wide eyes.)

DOCTOR: We must defeat him before his Daleks take over the uni---

ROMANA: I'm sorry to interrupt you, Doctor, but I just have to ask you something that's been on my mind for some time.

DOCTOR: Yes?

ROMANA: What's with the bug eyes? You always have this wide-eyed stare like you're constantly surprised. Why is that?

(The Doctor shifts nervously.)

DOCTOR: Um…I'm afraid that's my fault.

ROMANA: How so?

DOCTOR: Well, a metal part fell off K9 one day and I was using superglue to put it back on and I sneezed and my hand jerked and squeezed the tube and superglue flew up on my eyelids and when I opened my eyes, the lids stuck and I've had this expression ever since.

ROMANA: Oh, I see. Okay, that explains a lot. Anyway, go on, you were saying something about Davros?

(Cut back to the yard.)

As the memory faded, the Master looked around and saw that the Doctor and Rose were nowhere to be seen.

"How ingenious, Doctor, using a memory to slip away. You are clever, but not clever enough. And since you told me you cannot escape the yard, then the only place you can be is in the house. So, you better hide yourself well, because when I find you, you are dead!"

The Master hurried back towards the house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Lost him. I knew those memories were good for something." The Doctor whispered as he and Rose reached the second floor.

"Yes, but we still can't leave here." Rose replied.

"Which is why we need to hide and come up with a strategy." The Doctor said.

They paused at Chris's room.

"In here." He whispered. "We'll hide in his closet."

They crept into the room. The Doctor walked over and checked on Chris while Rose went and opened the closet door.

"Okay, he's asleep." The Doctor whispered as he stared down at the snoring Chris. "Let's get into the closet."

"Um, I don't think that's a good idea." Rose whispered back.

The Doctor frowned.

"Why not?" he said.

"Because the closet is already occupied."

"It is? By who?"

"Um…a little snarling monkey who is glaring and pointing his finger at me in a threatening manner."

The Doctor turned.

"What?" he muttered.

He walked up beside Rose and saw the little brown monkey pointing his finger up at him.

"Uh-huh, okay, so there's an angry monkey in the kid's closet." The Doctor muttered. "Sadly, after everything that's happened so far, I am not surprised in the least. Ah well, angry monkey will just have to make room for two more."

The monkey grunted as the Doctor shoved him back into the closet and he and Rose stepped inside and closed the door. He grrred at them as they crouched down in the darkness.

"That thing isn't gonna bite us, is it?" Rose asked softly.

"Who knows, as long as it keeps quiet, I don't really care what it does. I'm sure it's less of a threat than the Master."

He paused a moment.

"Actually, I think we can use our little friend here now that I think of it."

The monkey gasped as he grabbed him by the back of the neck.

"Come along, Cheetah, you have a job to do." The Doctor said as he and Rose stood up and exited the closet.

They walked to the door and peeked out. They saw the Master was several feet away looking in another room. The Doctor tightened his grip around the monkey's neck and walked out into the hallway.

"Looking for me?" he said.

The Master jerked his head around.

"Ah, there you are, Doctor." He said. "Now you will die."

"You first!" the Doctor said. "Sic him, monkey boy!"

He threw the monkey at the Master. It landed in front of him, but to the Doctor's dismay it only pointed threateningly at the Master.

"Rassilon, is that all that thing knows how to do?" the Doctor muttered.

The Master grabbed the monkey by the neck.

"Out of my way, you mangy banana eating reject!" he said.

He threw the monkey into the wall. It let out a grunt and collapsed in a heap. The Master turned his attention to the Doctor and Rose who quickly hurried down the stairs.

The Master hurried into his room and grabbed his teddy bear, his ray gun and a small red boom box.

"Come along, Rupert, we have a Doctor to kill." He said as he hurried back out of the room.


	8. End of Family Guy Part 7

Chapter Seven

The Master walked outside and saw the Doctor and Rose standing by the edge of the yard waiting for him.

"And now, endgame begins." The Master said.

He sat the boom box and Rupert beside him. The Doctor frowned when he fiddled with the boom box.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm finding just the right song. I like a bit of background music when I'm killing my foes." He said.

"Really? Since when?" the Doctor said.

The Master paused.

"Since this incarnation actually. I have to admit I have a fondness for show tunes and campy music. Odd, really."

He shrugged.

"Ah well, back to the perfect song." He said.

The Doctor frowned when he heard him jumping from song to song on his CD player. So far he had heard snippets of YMCA, Dancing Queen, If I Could Turn Back Time and Over The Rainbow.

"Ah ha! Here we go!" the Master said triumphantly.

IT'S…NOT…EASY HAVING YOURSELF A GOOD TIME…

The Master grabbed Rupert and his ray gun and walked towards the Doctor as the Scissor Sisters blared from his boom box.

"You have a companion to help you fight, Doctor, and now I have one as well." He said stopping a few feet in front of him.

"Really," the Doctor said looking around. "Where is this companion then?"

"Here!" the Master said pointing to Rupert.

The Doctor and Rose stared down at the tiny stuffed bear.

"Yeah, um…Master, I hate to tell you this, but I think when they brought you back this time, they kinda damaged your mind." The Doctor said to him.

"Ah, but there is more to Rupert than meets the eye. Behold, Doctor, my friend's true form!" the Master said.

There was a flash of light. The Doctor and Rose blinked and tried to shield their eyes from the blinding radiance. When the light faded, they were amazed by what they saw. The little teddy bear had evolved into a humanoid form. The Doctor frowned when he noticed from the neck down Rupert was wearing a little red thong and looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but from the neck up, he still had his tiny teddy bear head.

"Okay…" the Doctor said.

"Attack, Rupert, destroy the Doctor and Rose!" the Master said pointing at them.

The Doctor's eyes widened as Rupert advanced on them. He threw a punch to Rupert's head. But all it did to the stuffed head was dent it slightly. He threw a punch at his chest and grunted when the rock hard pecs hurt his hand. Rupert threw a punch to the Doctor's face and Rose gasped when he knocked backwards several feet.

"That's it, Rupert. Kill the Doctor!" the Master yelled at him.

Rose looked over and noticed the Doctor was slowly getting to his feet. Thinking quickly, she jumped in front of the bear human and tensed her muscles.

"I won't let you kill the Doctor." She said to it. "You have to get through me first!"

The Master laughed.

"The Doctor couldn't harm my Rupert, what makes you think a slip of a girl like you will…"

The Master was cut short when he saw Rose dodge a punch, run around the back of Rupert, grab his bear head and rip it off his body. As she threw it to the ground, the human body morphed back into the little teddy bear body.

"NO! RUPERT!" the Master said running towards the bear body.

He cradled the body as the Doctor came up beside Rose and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Quick thinking, Rose." He said to her.

"Thanks." Rose replied.

"RUUUUUUPERT!" the Master wailed.

He snarled at Rose.

"You will pay for that!" he said to her. "No bleach blonde hussy hurts my friend and gets away with it! Prepare to become my slave!"

"WATCH OUT, ROSE!" the Doctor screamed.

He shoved her aside just in time to avoid the deadly vomit that flew from the Master's mouth. As the Master prepared to shoot another vomit projectile, the Doctor grabbed Rupert's head and shoved it in his mouth. As the Master's eyes widened in shock, the Doctor picked him up and dropkicked him across the lawn. He grabbed the ray gun. He pointed it at the Master's feet and shot a laser bolt at him. He grinned as he fired at his feet and watched the Master run around the yard. The Master quickly took Rupert's head out of his mouth and shot a vomit projectile at his head. The Doctor ducked and fired another round. The Doctor paused as the Master screamed and ran towards him.

"GIVE ME THAT GUN!" he bellowed at him.

The Doctor waited a moment and then sidestepped the Master. He kicked him in the butt as he ran past and Rose caught him by the sides of his head.

"Unhand me!" the Master screamed at her.

"Whatever you say." Rose said.

She dropkicked him and the Master screamed as he sailed through the air and landed on his head. He skidded across the yard on his head and then flopped over.

"You know, I kinda like this baby body of his. It's easy to kick his ass this way." The Doctor said to Rose.

He pointed the ray gun as the Master scrambled to his feet.

"Surrender, Master, it's over." The Doctor said to him.

"Oh, it's not over, Doctor, not by a long shot." The Master said.

"On the contrary, it's very much over."

Everyone looked over as Brian walked out the front door.

"Unlike some people around here, I have to earn a living." He said walking over to the Master. "I need my sleep and I can't do that when you're out here making a racket. So, come on, let's get you back to bed before Lois freaks."

"Stay away from me, dog! Victory shall be mine! I will triumph over the Doctor!" the Master said to him.

"Come on, Stewie, playtime's over." Brian said walking up to him. "It's time for you to go back to bed and quit trying to kill our guests."

"NO! I will kill the Doctor! He is trapped and helpless! I will not be denied!"

The Master ran towards the Doctor.

"Die, Doctor!" he bellowed.

The Doctor watched patiently. He glanced up at a nearby tree and when the Master was under it, he whipped out his sonic screwdriver and aimed it at a branch. The branch cracked and slammed down on top of the Master's head. The Master's body went rigid and he stood still for a moment staring straight ahead of him with wide eyes.

"Look at that," he said pointing to the air in front of his eyes. "There's a bunch of tiny TARDISes spinning around my head. Isn't that cute?"

He passed out and flopped to the ground.

"Nice shot." Brian said.

"Thanks."

Brian walked over and stared at the Master.

"Sorry about the whole going off on you and trying to kill you thing." He said sheepishly. "He normally reserves his murderous intentions for Lois. I can't think what got into him. Must be teething or something."

He picked up the Master.

"I'll tell Lois what happened in the morning, she'll make sure he gets all his ray guns and shit taken away from him and gets punished. Don't worry about it. Just come back inside and…."

He paused when he noticed a huge black rectangular hole opening up beside the Doctor and Rose.

"What the Hell?" Brian muttered.

"That's it, the door the Cybermaster was talking about." The Doctor said pointing to it.

"Now? We didn't kill the Master." Rose said looking at him.

The Doctor shrugged.

"Maybe we don't have to, maybe we only needed to defeat him, which we did. Anyway, I'm not gonna argue, let's just get out of here while the door's here."

"So, you two are leaving then?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, I'm afraid we are. We have to go on to the next thing, whatever that is."

"Well, I hate to see you go. You seem like nice people. Just take care of yourselves."

"You too, Brian." The Doctor said shaking his paw. "Good luck keeping an eye on him."

"Aw, he's not that tough. I can more than hold my own with him."

He blushed when Rose kissed the top of his head and vibrated his leg when she scratched behind his left ear.

"Easy, that's the sweet spot. I might just have to marry you if you keep that up." He said.

Rose chuckled. She stepped back and took the Doctor's hand. Brian cradled Stewie's unconscious body and watched as the Doctor and Rose leapt through the hole and it closed behind them.


	9. Fraggle Rock Part 1

Chapter Eight

The Doctor and Rose stumbled out of the portal and it quickly closed behind them. They looked around and noticed they were in a cave.

"Okay, any clues as to what this cartoon might be?" the Doctor asked.

"I think its Fraggle Rock." Rose replied.

"Really? What makes you think---"

He turned his head and looked at her for the first time. A furry lemon yellow body with bright yellow hair and a rounded snout had replaced her familiar form. Behind her was a long tail with a fuzzy bright yellow tip. She was wearing her tee shirt, but the bottom half was completely naked down to the big oddly shaped feet.

"We're Fraggles." Rose said to him. "I watched this show when I was really little, but I don't remember much of it, but I do know that's what we are now."

"We?"

"Yeah, you've changed too." Rose said.

The Doctor looked down. He had a tan, furry body and his tail had a dark brown tip. He was wearing his trench coat, but that was it. He looked around him.

"So, then where are we?"

"Fraggle Rock. It's the Fraggle's home under the ground." Rose replied.

"Uh-huh, and what do they do? Are they dangerous?" the Doctor asked.

"Oh no, they're just a bunch of furry, cuddly Muppets that love to dance and sing and have fun."

"Hmmm, doesn't sound too bad. Although, given the fact that the Master showed up in the last cartoon I wouldn't rule out another one of my enemies making an appearance here somewhere. Anyway, might as well start walking and see if we can figure out how to get out of this one."

He took Rose's hand and they walked through a hole searching for any signs of life. After a few minutes they heard soft music and singing and laughter somewhere in front of them. As they walked along, the singing and laughing got louder and finally when they turned a corner, they noticed an enormous cave with tons of multi-colored Fraggles talking and singing and dancing. They entered the cave and looked around. Fraggles were everywhere. As they walked along, they waved to them and the Doctor and Rose waved back.

"So, now what do we do?" the Doctor asked.

"Got me, like I said, I watched this when I was like two or three. I don't remember everything about it." Rose replied.

"Hello there!"

The Doctor and Rose turned and saw a little orange Fraggle with lavender hair waving at them.

"I haven't seen you two in Fraggle Rock before." He said to them. "My name's Gobo. It's nice to meet you."

"And you." The Doctor replied. "Yes, we're new here. We've been traveling."

Gobo's mouth dropped open.

"You're explorers?" he asked.

The Doctor and Rose looked at each other.

"Um, yes, we are." The Doctor replied.

"That's great! I'm an explorer too!" he said.

"Oh really?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, well, what have you explored?" the Doctor asked.

"Um, just around Fraggle Rock so far." Gobo said sheepishly. "But I hope someday to become a great explorer like my uncle Travelin' Matt."

The Doctor nodded politely, unsure of what to say to that.

"But, come on and meet my friends." He said beckoning to them.

He led them over to a group of Fraggles.

"These are my friends." He said pointing to them.

He pointed to a tall, pink Fraggle.

"This is Mokey."

He pointed to a yellow Fraggle.

"This is Wembley."

He pointed to a green Fraggle.

"This is Boober."

He pointed to a yellow Fraggle.

"And this is Red." He said.

He pointed to the Doctor and Rose.

"These two are new to Fraggle Rock. They're…"

He paused and laughed.

"I'm sorry, I was so excited about meeting you that I forgot to ask your names." Gobo said.

"I'm the Doctor and this is Rose." The Doctor said.

"Pleased to meet you, Doctor and Rose." Gobo said shaking their hands vigorously. "Come and sit with us. We were just making up silly songs and eating Doozer sticks."

"Um…alright." The Doctor said glancing at Rose.

The two of them sat down and Mokey passed them a couple of Doozer sticks. The Doctor stared down at the long, thin stick and glanced at the others.

"What do you do with this?" he asked them.

"You eat it, silly." Mokey replied.

"Oh, right, sorry I forgot." The Doctor replied.

He sniffed at the stick and gave it an experimental lick.

"How is it?" Rose asked.

"Um, it tastes like radishes." The Doctor muttered examining the stick.

He put it in his mouth and tried to eat it. Tried being the operative word since he soon discovered he had no teeth. He glanced over at Rose and saw she was also trying to eat it without success. They looked at the Fraggles and their eyes widened when they saw they had no trouble biting down on the sticks and eating them.

"Wow, they must have strong jaws." The Doctor whispered to Rose.

"So, where were we?" Gobo asked.

"We were singing about Doozer sticks!" Wembley replied.

"Oh yes, okay, who wants to go first then?" Gobo asked.

"I will." Mokey replied.

"Go for it, Mokey." Gobo said.

Red sighed.

"Aw, I wanted to go first. Mokey always gets to go first. It's not fair." She whined.

"You can go first next time, Red." Gobo replied. "Mokey spoke up first so she gets to go."

"Yeah, yeah," Red muttered.

"Mokey…" Gobo said looking at her.

Mokey straightened her back and cleared her throat.

"My song is an ode to the joy of eating Doozer sticks." She said importantly.

She held up a Doozer stick and gazed at it with reverence as her friends waited expectantly.

I love to eat Doozer sticks.

They're always such a treat.

Morning, night or noontime

Their flavor can't be beat.

Oh little Doozer stick,

Why do I feel this way?

I want to eat and laugh and sing and dance all night and day!

She finished up and bowed as the others applauded.

"That's great, Mokey. Who wants to go next?" Gobo asked.

"ME, ME, ME!" Red screamed.

Gobo laughed.

"Okay, Red," he said fondly. "You can go next."

Red looked at Mokey.

"You think that's good, you ain't heard nothing yet!" she said to her.

She gave the others a haughty look and held up her Doozer stick and looked at it.

"Doozer sticks are yummy.

I eat them all the time.

That is why I'm sitting here making up this rhyme.

I love to jump and dive and swim and splash in the swimming pool.

After that I want a treat that makes my mouth fill up with drool.

Doozer, Doozer, Doozer stick. You are the very best.

Out of the foods in Fraggle Rock you really pass the test.

She finished up and smiled as everyone applauded.

"That was great, Red." Gobo said.

"Of course it was." Red replied.

"Who's next?" Gobo asked.

"OOOOOO, ME, ME, ME!" Wembley screamed as he waved his arm around in the air.

The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other.

"Wow, they must be hard up for entertainment if they get this excited over eating rock hard sticks." He whispered to her.

Rose nodded.

Wembley held up his stick and stared at it.

Oh little Doozer stick you are the greatest thing

That is why I'm sitting here with a little song to sing.

Moobley, boobley, Wembley wom

Decca Decca dee

Squip, squap, squipidy doo

Dumble, doodle DEEEEEEEEE!

The Doctor and Rose stared at Wembley in shock as everyone applauded.

"That didn't make a bit of sense." The Doctor whispered to Rose.

Rose shrugged.

Gobo looked over at the Doctor.

"Doctor! Why don't you go next?" he asked.

The Doctor stared at him with a deer in the headlights look as Rose giggled.

"Um, I'll pass, thanks." He replied.

"Nonsense, Doctor. Let's hear you sing." Gobo said.

"Come on, Doctor, don't be shy." Mokey said.

"Yeah, just sing out loud!" Red said.

"Sing a loud and silly song!" Wembley said.

"And then afterwards when you completely humiliate yourself, you can run to a corner and curl up into a little ball." Boober said.

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"Go for it, Doctor!" she yelled pumping her fist in the air.

She giggled when the Doctor gave her a dirty look. He looked at the expectant faces of the Fraggles and sighed as he held up his Doozer stick.

Um…Oh Doozer stick I hold in my hand.

You are the best in all the land.

I don't know what the hell you are.

And I haven't been able to eat you so far.

Um…Bingle, bongle, dingle, dangle, yickidy doo, yickidy da, ping-pong lippy tabby to ta.

He lowered the stick and glanced at Rose when everyone applauded enthusiastically.

"That was great, Doctor!" Gobo said. "I loved it!"

"Um, thanks, I think." The Doctor replied.

He looked around at the smiling faces.

"Listen, I don't want to cut the amateur hour short, but Rose and I are searching for a door. Do you know where there might be one?"

The Fraggles looked at each other.

"Door? What kind of door, Doctor?" Mokey asked.

"Um, well, it's kinda like this huge hole that takes you out of here." The Doctor said.

The Fraggles glanced at each other.

"Sure, there's a door like that." Gobo said. "I was planning to go up to it later today but I can take you now if you want."

"Could you?" Rose asked. "We'd love that!"

"Sure, just follow me." Gobo said standing up.

The Doctor and Rose smiled at each other. Eagerly, they followed Gobo as he led them out of the huge cave towards the door.


	10. Fraggle Rock Part 2

Chapter Nine

The Doctor and Rose followed Gobo as he led them through the corridors of his underground home. Both of them were glad he was leading them. The whole thing was like a huge labyrinth and they knew they would have been lost in no time flat.

Gobo was humming to himself and bouncing along and the Doctor would have wondered what he was on if he didn't know this was a kid's show.

As they turned a corner, they heard rock music begin to play out of nowhere and Gobo suddenly began to dance around and sing.

Listen to the words and the music of my song.

I feel like I've been dancing long before I was even born.

Fraggle Rock's my home and its rhythm keeps me strong.

When you live within its walls, you feel it all day long.

"Excuse me, but why the sudden song and dance routine?" the Doctor asked him. "I thought you were going to show us the door."

Gobo ignored him as he danced and spun around and sang at the top of his lungs.

"Hello! Yoo-hoo! Hey, Bilbo!"

"Gobo." Rose corrected.

"GOBO, can you stop the musical theater for a moment so we can get to the bloody door?" the Doctor said impatiently. "I get now that you just love living here in happy, jolly land, but I don't. Can you save the song for another time, please?"

Feel the rhythm of the rock!

Feel the rhythm of the rock!

Feel the rhythm of the rock!

The Doctor sighed.

"Bloody hell." He muttered as he leaned up against the cave wall.

The rhythm, the rhythm, the rhythm don't stop!

The music ended and Gobo stopped dancing and singing. He looked over at the Doctor.

"Got that out of your system now?" the Doctor said.

"Sorry, I just had to sing." Gobo replied.

"Yeah, I gathered that. Could you please show us the door now?" the Doctor said.

"Sure, it's this way. Follow me."

The Doctor leaned back up. He took Rose's hand and they continued walking down the corridor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After several minutes they finally came upon some pipes running through the cave walls. Gobo ducked under them and the Doctor and Rose followed suit. After another couple of minutes, they reached a brick wall with a huge hole in the middle of it.

"Here it is, the door to Outer Space." Gobo said in a hushed voice.

The Doctor stared at him.

"Outer space? That door leads to outer space?" he said in disbelief.

"Yup, it sure does."

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"If this is the door to outer space, maybe we can figure out a way to get ourselves back on board the Cybermaster's ship and wake up." He said to her.

"Um, Doctor,"

"Come on, Rose, outer space awaits." He said hurrying to the hole.

"Doctor, wait, I remember this bit. It's not what you think." Rose said hurrying behind him.

The Doctor ran up to the hole and paused in front of it as he peered out. His jaw dropped when he noticed a room beyond the hole.

"Outer space is the Fraggle's name for the human's world." Rose said behind him.

"Bollocks." The Doctor muttered.

"Is this the door you were looking for?" Gobo asked.

"No," the Doctor said sighing.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. The way you described it, it sounded like the door to Outer Space." Gobo said sadly.

"No, it's alright, I should have known it wouldn't be that easy." The Doctor replied.

Curious, he stuck his head outside the hole and looked around. Compared to him, everything was giant-sized. Intrigued, he ventured further into the room.

"Wow," Gobo said to Rose as he stood at the hole and watched him. "Your friend is brave. No one else but me and my uncle Matt ever dared to go into Outer Space before."

"The Doctor is a very brave person." Rose said nodding.

"I'll say. But if I were him, I'd watch out for the Hairy Monster. He's probably hiding somewhere." Gobo said.

"Hairy Monster." Rose said frowning.

Then it hit her.

"Oh God," she said.

Gobo gasped when she ran through the hole and over to the Doctor.

"Wow, both of them are brave!" he said in awe.

He glanced over at the wastebasket and noticed the post card wasn't in it yet, so he stood at the hole and watched his two new friends explore Outer Space.

"Doctor!" Rose said running up to him.

"Rose, this is fascinating." The Doctor said staring at the giant furniture. "I guess it gives you a perspective on how small the Fraggles really are and…"

"Doctor, there's a dog."

"Huh?"

"There's an old man and a dog. They live here. The Fraggles call the dog Hairy Monster because he loves to chase them. We have to get out of here before…."

Suddenly, the door opened and the old man and his dog stepped inside. Rose and the Doctor gasped and quickly hid under a cabinet.

"What a nice walk, Sprocket." Doc said as he entered the room. "I always love walking after a rainstorm."

He glanced through his mail and sighed when he found a postcard.

"And here's yet another postcard addressed to Gobo Fraggle. I really wish they would stop sending these postcards here. I don't know any Gobo."

He tossed the postcard in the wastebasket as Sprocket pointed to the hole in the wall and tried to talk to him in his limited doggie talk.

"What's that, Sprocket?" he asked looking at his frantically gesturing dog.

He glanced over at the hole.

"Yes, yes, I know that hole's there. I'm gonna get it boarded up one of these days, quit worrying about it."

Sprocket sighed and shook his head. As Doc busied himself, he went over to his dog bed and flopped down in it.

The Doctor and Rose watched as Sprocket closed his eyes. They glanced across the room and saw the hole. Glancing one more time at Sprocket, they cautiously stepped out from under the cabinet and tiptoed back towards the hole. Halfway there, they saw Gobo coming the other way towards them.

"What's he doing?" The Doctor muttered.

They stopped and watched as Gobo snuck up to the wastebasket, reached in and got the postcard.

"What does he want that for?" he asked.

"It's from his uncle." Rose whispered.

"Oh."

Suddenly, Gobo froze and looked past them with a horrified look on his face. They gulped when they heard Sprocket growling and glanced behind to see the dog staring at all of them angrily.

"Run, Doctor!" Rose said.

He grabbed her hand and they followed Gobo as they sped towards the hole. Gobo went in first followed by the Doctor. As he tried to go inside, he gasped when he felt a jerk on his hand and heard Rose cry out. He turned and saw that Sprocket had her by her tail and was trying to pull her back out the hole.

"Doctor, help me!" she begged him.

The Doctor ran up to the dog's muzzle and gave him a swift kick.

"Let go of her!" he yelled at him.

He kicked harder and Sprocket let out a howl of pain as the Doctor pulled Rose through the hole to safety. They huddled up against the back wall as Sprocket barked angrily at them through the hole.

"Sprocket! Cut that racket out and get away from there!" they heard Doc yell.

Sprocket looked up at him and gestured to the Doctor and Rose. They both swore they could hear him saying Fraggles, Fraggles, to him.

"I don't care about the hole, Sprocket." Doc said. "Now cut it out, I have a headache!"

Sprocket sighed. He looked back through the hole and growled at the Doctor and Rose. Then, to their relief, he walked away from it back to his dog bed.

"Are you guys okay?" Gobo asked as he walked over to them.

The Doctor and Rose nodded.

"Yeah, I don't think I'll be going out there again though." The Doctor said.

"Me neither."

"I don't blame ya. Outer Space is only for the bravest of Fraggles." Gobo said. "Anyway, I got what I came for so we can go back now."

The Doctor took Rose's hand and they followed Gobo as he led them back towards the others.


	11. Fraggle Rock Part 3

Chapter Ten

"Here we are again, safe and sound back in the Great Hall." Gobo said as they entered the huge cavern.

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"You alright?" he asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. He just got my tail."

He glanced down at it, but couldn't see any signs of injury. Relieved, he let go and they followed Gobo back towards the others. On the way there, the Doctor noticed there were roads and towers that looked like they were made up of the same material as the Doozer sticks. He paused and examined one of the towers.

"These were built by the Doozers. They're the ones who made that stick." Rose explained.

"Fascinating. The architecture is phenomenal." The Doctor said studying the tower. "Whoever these Doozers are, they've put a lot of care into their work. I…"

His eyes widened in shock when a little purple Fraggle walked up, pulled off the top of the tower and began to munch on it."

"Oi!" he said to him.

The Fraggle halted.

"What do you think you're doing? That was an intricate structure you just destroyed!" the Doctor said to him.

"No, Doctor, it's alright. That's their food." Rose said.

The Doctor glanced at her.

"He just ruined this tower." He said gesturing to the confused Fraggle.

"But, that's what they want the Fraggles to do. The Doozers build the structures and the Fraggles come along and eat them."

The Doctor stared at her, shocked.

"You mean they put in all this time and effort to erect this marvelous tower just so these Fraggles can pull them apart and eat them?" he said in disbelief.

"Yeah, pretty much." Rose replied.

The Doctor shook his head.

"Okay, if you say so." He muttered.

He smiled at the confused Fraggle.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya. I was just having you on. I'm being silly, you know." He said to him.

The Fraggle smiled and nodded. He skipped away munching contentedly on the Doozer tower.

He turned back around and noticed that a tiny, chubby, green female creature was now examining the ruined tower. It was wearing little yellow work boots, a utility belt and a yellow hard hat. The Doctor looked over at Rose.

"Is this a Doozer?" he asked her.

"Yup."

The Doctor stared down at it as it pulled out a teeny walkie-talkie and began to talk to someone. He reached down and pulled the hard hat off. The Doozer stopped talking and stared up at him in confusion. The Doctor smiled at her.

"Hello there." He said.

The Doozer stared at him silently.

"I'm the Doctor. What's your name?"

The Doozer said nothing.

"I love the tower you built. It's lovely." The Doctor said to her.

The Doozer stared at her hat in his hand and held out her hand.

"Can I have my hat back?" she said in small high-pitched voice.

"Oh! Yes, of course, sorry." The Doctor said returning it to her.

The Doozer grabbed the hat. She slammed it down on her head as she stared at the Doctor indignantly. Then, she resumed talking on the walkie-talkie as she walked away down the Doozer stick highway.

"Not very friendly, are they?" the Doctor asked her.

Rose shrugged.

"The way I remember it, the Fraggles and the Doozers didn't get along." She said.

"Really? Why not?" the Doctor said looking at her.

"Well, Mainly it's because the Doozers love working and the Fraggles love relaxing and singing and playing so each thinks the other is weird."

"Really?"

"Yup."

The Doctor looked at the Doozer who was now several feet away talking to another Doozer and gesturing to another tower nearby. The Doctor walked over to them and stood nearby as he listened in.

"This tower has been sitting here for about a week now." The female Doozer was saying to her male colleague. "Why is that? Did you not make the Doozer sticks tasty enough?"

"I…I…don't know." The male Doozer stammered out.

The Doctor's eyes widened when the female Doozer bitch slapped him.

"What do you mean you don't know?" she said in a shrill voice. "It's your tower! Do your slaves not know how to mix the powder properly?"

"I…I swear I inspected the mixture before it was approved for construction."

The female Doozer bitch slapped him again.

"I will accept no excuses! Your slaves will make a tasty Doozer tower or you will be tortured and executed for it! Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am." The male Doozer said meekly.

"I will give you one more chance, do not disappoint me again!" she said walking away from him.

The Doctor looked back at Rose.

"Did the Doozers behave like that on the show?" he asked her.

"Um, not that I remember. I doubt it though." She replied.

The Doctor sighed.

"I suppose it's the Cybermaster messing with things again. We better be on our guard." He said to her.

He looked back and noticed the male Doozer was looking right at him.

"Please." He said to the Doctor.

"Please what?"

The Doctor's eyes widened when the Doozer ran over, grabbed the lapel of his trench coat and fell to his knees.

"Please eat my structure!" he implored. "You're a Fraggle, you like Doozer construction, please eat my tower before she kills me!"

"Um, I really can't eat the sticks, I have no teeth and I really don't like the taste." The Doctor said.

The Doozer looked at him in disbelief.

"You're kidding, right? All Fraggles like Doozer constructions. It's the whole reason we exist! You have to eat it!"

"I'm sorry, I really don't---"

"PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, EAT MY TOWER!" the Doozer screamed as he shook his lapel.

"Alright, alright, I'm eating the tower!" the Doctor said as he ducked down under the Doozer highway.

The Doozer watched as he plowed into the structure, knocked it down and pretended to eat it.

"Oh thank you!" the Doozer said to him. "You've just saved my life!"

"No problem." The Doctor said between a mouthful of Doozer sticks.

The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief as he wandered away. The Doctor watched him go and when he was out of sight, he spit the sticks out of his mouth and walked back to Rose.

"I'm no expert on this show, but I'm pretty sure Jim Henson never had characters threaten each other with torture and death on his shows, so I'm convinced it's the Cybermaster mucking things up again."

"So you think the Doozers are gonna try to kill us then?" Rose asked.

The Doctor sighed.

"I don't know, Rose, but after fighting the Master as a baby I'm willing to bet anything can and will happen in this reality. It may seem like we have some measure of free will in here, but it's just an illusion. The Cybermaster has our minds hooked into this thing and he can do whatever he likes with us. We're at his mercy until we can find a way out of here."

"Doctor, maybe we should ask someone for advice." Rose said.

"Who, the Fraggles? They're too busy having Karaoke sessions to bother with us."

"There has to be someone we can talk to. Someone who'll give us a clue." Rose insisted.

She thought for a moment and then her eyes widened.

"Wait, I do remember. They did have someone they talked to whenever they needed advice." She said.

"Really, who?"

"Some compost heap lady."

"Some what now?"

"This rubbish lady. She would rise up and give the Fraggles advice."

She sighed when she noticed the Doctor's wide-eyed stare.

"I'm not making it up, okay? I do remember vaguely some rubbish woman they would go and talk to."

"Okay, so where is the rubbish woman?"

"Um, up above."

The Doctor looked up at the ceiling.

"No, I mean outside."

"You mean where the old man and the dog are?"

"No, the other way. There's another way out that leads to this garden and she's around there somewhere." Rose said.

"Okay, so let's go and find her then." The Doctor said starting to walk away.

"Wait!" Rose said grabbing his arm.

The Doctor looked at her.

"We have to be careful going up there." She said.

"Why?"

She hesitated a moment and then said,

"There's Gorgs up there."


	12. Fraggle Rock Part 4

Chapter Eleven

"Okay, Tyler, enlighten me. What are Gorgs?" the Doctor said folding his arms over his chest.

"Um, well, they're kinda like gigantic Ogres. They would try to catch the Fraggles whenever they went outside."

"Much like the gigantic dog does, eh?"

"Yeah."

"These Fraggles have pretty crappy lives. Everyone seems to either be after them or resent them."

He paused a moment.

"I can relate to that." He said to himself.

He sighed.

"So, in order to go talk to this mystical garbage lady we have to basically steer clear of Shrek, am I getting this right?"

"Yup, you're right on the money."

"Mmm, so how intelligent are these Gorgs?"

"Um, from what I remember not very. There's one called…um…Junior….yeah, Junior Gorg who was pretty much a doofus."

"Good, doofus I can deal with. Is he the only one?"

"No, there was his mum and dad."

"And are they doofuses?"

"Well, sorta, but I don't think they were as stupid as Junior Gorg was."

"So, we have one idiotic Ogre and his semi-idiotic Ogre parents to deal with, and how big are these creatures?"

"Um, massive, we'll be Doozer size by comparison."

"Lovely, just lovely." The Doctor muttered. "But, on the plus side, if we're that small, it will be easier for us to hide from them."

He rubbed his hands together.

"Well, I always did like a bit of a challenge so let's go find us this talking compost heap and see what she has to say."

He took Rose's hand.

"Lead the way, Tyler." He said.

"Um, I can't, I don't know where to go." Rose said.

"Oh yeah,"

He sighed.

"Damn, I guess we're gonna have to go ask Nsync where the exit is. I just hope we don't get a bloody song and dance before we find out."

They walked off in search of the Fraggles.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After enduring several minutes of off-key singing and dancing and sugary sweet happiness from numerous Fraggles, they finally found one of the Fraggles they knew. He was sitting outside a cave entrance using a washboard to wash something in a small wooden vat. The Doctor paused and glanced at Rose.

"What's this one's name?"

"Boober."

The Doctor shook his head.

"Boober, what a name. The poor bloke." He muttered.

He shrugged and they walked over to him.

"Excuse me, Boober." The Doctor said to him.

Boober looked up at him.

"Yes?"

"Um, I was wondering if you could help us. See, Rose and I are wanting to go up to where this rubbish woman is so we can talk to her. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"The Trash Heap?" Boober said.

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"Yeah, I think that was her name." Rose said nodding.

The Doctor shrugged.

"Um, yeah, the Trash Heap. Do you know where she's at?"

"She lives beyond the Gorg's garden." Boober said going back to his washing.

The Doctor watched as he ran a sock up and down the washboard.

"I'm sorry, what are you doing?" the Doctor asked.

"I'm washing socks." Boober said.

"I was not aware that Fraggles wore socks." The Doctor said. "I've never seen anybody wearing any."

"I know, that's why I'm convinced most Fraggles will die of the common cold soon." He said as he continued washing.

The Doctor stared at him.

"Ooookay…" he muttered.

He cleared his throat.

"So, um, Boober if you aren't too terribly busy washing socks, could you possibly take Rose and I up to see this Trash Heap?"

"You don't want to go see her."

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"Why not?" he asked Boober.

"The Trash Heap has a ton of germs on her, you might get sick and die."

The Doctor frowned.

"Yeah, that probably is true, but nevertheless we want to go see her."

"Not to mention all the sharp cans and bottles you could cut yourself on. Then, you get a nasty infection and you could die from that."

"I'm…sorry…but are you usually this pessimistic?" The Doctor said to him. "I mean, the Fraggles I've seen are usually bouncing around the cave like they're on a permanent caffeine high. You seem to be the opposite."

"You mean I'm more sensible than they are? Yes, I am." Boober said looking up from his washing. "My friends do nothing but dance and sing and frolic all day long. There are more important things in this world like socks and fungus."

"Wow, Doctor, you finally found a kindred spirit."

"Shut up, Tyler." The Doctor said as she giggled.

He looked at Boober.

"Well, if you're not gonna lead us, can you recommend someone who will?" he asked him.

"Talk to Mokey, she goes up every day to gather the radish for our meal." He said to him.

"Mokey, gotcha. And where is she?"

"Go straight ahead about three caves and turn. She's the first cave on the right."

"First cave on the right, got it."

He paused a moment and then bent over.

"You know, there's this wondrous magic pill called Prozac, you probably wanna find you some, I think it would help tremendously." He said to Boober.

He bent back up and took Rose's hand.

"Come along, Rose, let's leave Boober to his socks." He said.

Boober watched them go. Then, shaking his head he went back to his washing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello?" the Doctor said peeking into Mokey's cave. "Mokey? Are you here?"

They looked over at a hole in the far wall when they heard singing coming from it.

"Yup, guess she's in." the Doctor said to Rose.

They stepped inside.

"Mokey?" the Doctor said.

"Be just a minute!" Mokey called from the next room.

The Doctor and Rose leaned back against the wall and waited for her. The Doctor glanced over and saw a strange looking plant staring back at him. Curious, he wandered over and stared at it.

Suddenly, Mokey burst into the room carrying an armload of paints and canvases.

"I'm so sorry, I was just gathering my painting supplies for today." She said to them.

"Oh, you paint?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes, I do."

She let out a melodramatic gasp.

"I find it…exhilarating." She said.

She sat the supplies down in a small hole and turned to them.

"Painting and poetry feed the soul." She said raising her arms dramatically.

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"Um yeah, well, Mokey I was just wondering if Rose and I could ask a favor of you."

Mokey picked up a watering can and walked over to the plant.

"Don't mind me, keep talking. I have to water Lanford." She said to the Doctor.

"Yeah, that's a very interesting plant you have. What is it?" the Doctor asked.

Mokey smiled at him.

"It's a Night-Blooming Yellow-Leaved Deathwort." She said sweetly.

"I see. Never heard of it, but then again I am in a kid's show." The Doctor muttered.

"What was that?" Mokey said.

"Nothing." He said quickly. "What Rose and I were wanting to know is if you can lead us to the Trash Heap?"

Mokey let out another melodramatic gasp.

"OH!" she said putting the watering can down and taking the Doctor by the hands. "You mean you want to go see the all-knowing, all-seeing Madam Trash Heap?"

The Doctor stared at her.

"Um, yeah." He said.

"Of course I will lead you there! Everyone should go see Madam Trash Heap at least once in their lives. She is truly unique!"

"Yeah, I have to admit a talking pile of rubbish is a pretty unique concept." The Doctor said.

"You are in luck, I'm just about to go up and get the radish for today." Mokey said. "I'll be more than happy to take you."

"Thanks." The Doctor replied.

His eyes widened when Mokey let out another melodramatic gasp.

"The Trash Heap. She is filled with so much wisdom. I wonder what she'll tell you?" she said.

"Um, I'm not sure. We'd really like to know how to get out of here though." The Doctor replied.

"How delightful. I love getting out of here with my paints and my poetry to some distant rock and just letting my spirit take flight." Mokey said in a hushed voice.

The Doctor stared at her as she sang to herself while she petted Lanford. He walked over to Rose.

"Okay, so we have one Fraggle who has a morbid fascination with disease and death and another one who is completely flaky. What's next?"

They looked over as a Fraggle wandered inside the cave making oinking noises under his breath.

"Mokey, I need you to help me." He said.

The Doctor leaned over to Rose.

"And this one is…"

"Wembley." She replied.

"Wembley, right." The Doctor said.

"What is it, dear Wembley?" Mokey said to him.

"I need your help, Mokey. I can't decide what shirt to wear this morning!" Wembley said frantically.

"Just calm down, Wembley, let me see the shirts."

Wembley showed her two shirts. The Doctor frowned as he stared at them.

"They're identical." He whispered to Rose.

"I can't decide which banana tree shirt to wear. Should I wear this one or this one?" He said looking from one shirt to the other.

Mokey paused and stared at both shirts, giving each one serious consideration.

"I think you should wear that one." She said pointing to the one in his right hand.

"This one?" Wembley said frowning as he stared at it. "Are you sure? Cause I really like the other one."

"Okay, then wear that one then." Mokey said pointing to the one in his left hand.

He stared at it.

"Um, on the other hand, this one isn't as nice as the other. But the other one itches. But this one fits too snugly. But on the other hand…"

"Geez, what is the stupid git's problem?" the Doctor said whispering to Rose.

"He does this. Wembley can never make up his mind." Rose replied.

"Well, someone needs to slap him upside the head and knock some sense into him." The Doctor replied.

By this time, Wembley was in a complete tizzy looking from one shirt to the other with growing desperation.

"AAAAAAAAAGH!" he finally screamed. "I CAN'T DECIDE!!!!!"

The Doctor sighed. He walked over to Wembley and snatched the shirts out of his hand.

"Look." He said holding the shirts up in front of him. "They are both the same. Pick one bloody shirt and be done with it. Mokey has more important things to do like leading us up to the Trash Heap. Now, why don't you go home, put your feet up, maybe take a nice sedative and relax?"

Wembley stared at him.

"You think that might work?"

The Doctor put his hand on Wembley's shoulder.

"I think a Valium would make all the difference in the world for you." He said.

"Okay."

Wembley stared at him.

"Um, where do you get this Valium?" he asked him.

"I don't know, but if I were you, I would make every effort to find one." The Doctor replied.

Wembley nodded.

"Okay, I'll do that. Thanks Doctor." He said.

"You're very welcome."

They watched as Wembley bounced back out of the cave making oinking noises under his breath.

"I am so glad I'm not a cartoon, Rose." He muttered to her. "Real life is bizarre enough."

"I agree." Rose muttered back.

They looked at Mokey.

"Um, so, are you going to take us?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes, just follow me." Mokey said.

The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. Taking Rose's hand, they followed behind Mokey as she walked out of the cave.


	13. Fraggle Rock Part 5

Chapter Twelve

"Here it is." Mokey said as she and the Doctor and Rose neared the hole leading to the Gorg's garden. "The Gorg's garden!"

The Doctor and Rose crept up to the hole and looked out. They stared up at the huge imposing castle in front of them. The Doctor looked to his left and saw that the hole was near a well. At the moment, they were the only ones in sight and for that he was thankful. Judging from the castle, the Gorgs were not something he relished facing.

Mokey climbed up beside them.

"The Trash Heap is over there past the garden." She said pointing off to her right. "Just follow the garden and you can't miss her."

"Thanks." The Doctor said as he and Rose crawled out of the hole.

"You're welcome. Good luck and let me know what Madam Trash Heap tells you."

"Yeah, we'll do that." The Doctor said as he helped Rose down to the ground.

Holding hands, they quickly scurried across the huge yard as Mokey went to retrieve her cart sitting by the hole.

As the Doctor and Rose hurried along the ground they kept their eyes open for any sign of the Gorgs, but there was no one in sight. Just the same they ran all the way past the garden. Once they reached the back of it, they noticed a hill of trash sitting beside a tree.

"How disgusting can you get?" The Doctor said wrinkling his snout at the stench. "I can see why the rubbish started talking. Judging from the stench, it's probably laid in that heap so long I wouldn't be surprised if it sprouted legs and started walking around."

He looked around.

"Well, let's hurry this up before these Gorgs return." He said.

They scurried across the grass to the trash heap. As they neared, the Doctor switched to his respiratory bypass system to avoid choking on the stench. Rose, however, wasn't blessed with that and she had to resort to holding her hand over her nose to keep from puking.

They were near the outskirts of the ring of trash when suddenly two rat-like creatures jumped out from behind the tree.

"You are in the presence of…" one rat said.

"The all-knowing, all-seeing…" the other rat said.

"Trash Heap, Naaaaah!" they both said in unison.

The Doctor stared at them.

"Um, should we be concerned about the two enormous vermin sitting in front of us?" he asked Rose.

"No, I don't think they'll do anything to us." Rose replied.

"Good, because those things remind me of the R.O.U.S's from Princess Bride and at the minute I don't have a sword to stab them with." He said.

They stepped back as the pile of trash moved and rose up. The Doctor stared in disbelief as it formed into a woman. He stared in disbelief at the enormous breasts on the front of it.

"Um, Rose…" he said tapping her on the shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"The Rubbish lady has huge boobs. Was that in the show?"

"Um…I'm not sure. Maybe."

The Doctor stared intently at the breasts.

"I never realized rubbish could sprout breasts." He said. "This is getting more and more bizarre the further it goes along. What's next? A pile of leaves with a penis?"

"Hello, little Fraggles!" the Trash Heap said smiling at them.

The Doctor nudged Rose.

"What, Doctor?" she said.

"Rose, the Rubbish lady has a Yiddish accent. Was that in the show?"

"I don't know, Doctor. I told you I was 2 and 3 when I watched it. I'm amazed I still remember a lot of it." She said. "Just do what you always do and go with the flow."

The Doctor nodded.

"Very well."

He cleared his throat.

"Greetings Yiddish rubbish lady with the enormous breasts. I am the Doctor and this is Rose. We seek an audience with your…um…trash heapness."

The rats looked at each other.

"What an idiot." One said.

"Hey, what do you expect from a Fraggle?" the other replied.

"Now now, Philo, Gunge, behave yourselves." The Trash Heap said to them.

She reached behind her, pulled out an enormous pair of glasses and studied the Doctor and Rose.

The Doctor nudged Rose.

"What, Doctor?"

"See that, the heap of trash has brainy specs just like me." He told her.

"Yes, Doctor, I see." Rose said rolling her eyes.

"So, my little Fraggles, what are you wanting to know?"

The Doctor cleared his throat.

"Um…how exactly do I address you?"

"Call her Madam Trash Heap." Philo said.

"Oh, there's no need for formalities like that. Call me Trash Heap." She said.

"Very well, Trash Heap, my friend Rose and I were trapped here by an evil mastermind who is hell bent on taking over the universe with his diabolical virtual reality machine. We were kidnapped and strapped into the machine and now we must go through warped versions of cartoons and kid's programs in order to win our freedom. We have already been through one cartoon and escaped it through a door. We wish to know where the door is in this reality so we can move on to the next cartoon."

The Trash Heap and the two rats stared at the Doctor silently as somewhere nearby a cricket chirped.

"Little Fraggle," the Trash Heap finally said. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about."

"Well, you see, this whole thing is reality for you and everyone else, but not for me and Rose. For us, this is a virtual simulation. We wish to return to our reality, but in order to do that we must find this portal or door and we want to know---"

"Um, Doctor, I think you lost all of them back at the whole thing is reality for you line." Rose said.

"Oh, yeah…" the Doctor said when he saw the puzzled looks on their faces.

He thought for a moment.

"See, all we wanna do is get out of here." He finally said.

"You want to leave Fraggle Rock?" the Trash Heap said.

"Yes, that's it, we want to leave Fraggle Rock."

"If you're looking to leave, I know a nice loony bin that'll take ya!" Gunge said.

He and Philo giggled as the Doctor shot them a dirty look.

"Little Fraggle, you shouldn't leave. You should be happy where you're at." The Trash Heap said.

"No, you don't understand. We don't belong here!" the Doctor said. "This isn't our home!"

"Nonsense, home is where your friends and family are."

"Yes, I agree, and that fits in with my argument because I don't consider those Pop Idol wannabes back in the hole my friends or my family. Except for Rose here, the people I consider my family are back in that other reality I told you about which brings me around to the door. Have you seen some kind of portal---"

He paused and his eyes widened when he heard music suddenly coming from nowhere. His mouth dropped open when he saw the Trash Heap start to sway in time to it.

"OH BLOODY HELL, NOT YOU TOO!" he screamed at her.

No matter where you go

No matter where you roam  
You're never gonna find

A place as sweet as home!

"FOR THE LOVE OF RASSILON, STOP!" the Doctor screamed. "Arrgh! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm missing the warped memories now. Bloody Hell, the urge to sing must be a mental illness in this stupid show."

All your friends and family

They all love you so

That's the only wisdom

You will ever need to know.

"Come on, Rose, let's get out of here." The Doctor said tugging on her hand.

"But, Doctor,"

"Let's go, Rose," the Doctor snarled at her. "Before my sodding ears start bleeding!"

Rose sighed. She walked away with the Doctor as the Trash Heap continued to sing and the rats harmonized with her.

"Oh Rassilon, I understand now why we are here." The Doctor said as they walked by the garden. "I think the Cybermaster wants to drive us insane listening to all this singing.

"I don't think it's that bad." Rose said.

The Doctor looked at her like she had grown two heads.

"Rose, you gotta be kidding me. You can't tell me that this music compares to the greats like Mozart or Beethoven or even the Rolling Stones. The music is juvenile and the lyrics are banal and insipid."

"Doctor, it's a show for little kids. Of course, the lyrics are gonna be simple. Just bear with them. They're only doing what they were created to do. Everyone in the show sings. It's a normal everyday thing. Just keep your cool. It doesn't do any good for you to fly off the handle at people every time they start singing. Like I said, just go with the flow."

"I understand that, Rose and I agree with your logic. But, it's kinda hard to remember that when some multi-colored fuzz ball is singing off-key directly in your face." He said.

"Yes, Doctor, it's annoying to me too, but you just have to deal with it and move on." Rose replied.

She kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm here, Doctor. Just remember that." She said.

The Doctor smiled at her.

"Yes, and thank Rassilon for that." He replied.

The two of them walked on. They were so busy talking to each other; they didn't realize that someone was sneaking up on them until it was too late.

"FWAGGLES!"

Both Rose and the Doctor froze. They looked up and saw a huge brown and tan monster staring at them with delight.

"Oh God, it's Junior Gorg, Doctor, run!" she yelled at him.

The Doctor grabbed her hand and both of them took off running. The Doctor glanced behind him and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the Gorg preparing to pounce on them.

"Run, Rose, run!" he screamed at her.

For a moment, nothing happened and then suddenly there was an enormous BOOM as the Gorg belly flopped on the ground. The vibration propelled the Doctor into a patch of weeds. He got to his feet and tried to grab Rose as she ran to him. He yelled when Junior Gorg slammed his hand down and hit Rose on the back knocking her unconscious.

"Rose!" The Doctor screamed.

He watched as Junior Gorg picked up Rose and began to dance around.

"A Fwaggle! A Fwaggle! I got a Fwaggle!" he chanted.

Before the Doctor could do anything, Junior Gorg was running in the house holding Rose in his grip.

"Oh, Rassilon, no." the Doctor said as he ran into the open door of the castle.


	14. Fraggle Rock Part 6

Chapter Thirteen

The Doctor stopped just inside the door and stared up at the enormous Gorg who was dancing around the room with Rose. He watched in horror as Rose's head bounced up and down violently in his hands and he prayed that he wouldn't snap her neck while he was celebrating.

"I got a fwaggle! I got a fwaggle!" the Gorg chanted as he danced and spun around.

The Doctor stood by the door at a loss over what to do. The ogre was enormous. Even if he did attack it, the thing would never feel it. He would probably just reach down, snatch him up and dance with him too. He considered going back out and looking for Mokey. Maybe she would know what to do. He turned to go out the door.

"We're hoooome!"

The Doctor froze when he heard a male voice outside the castle. He ducked into the corner a couple of seconds before two more Gorgs came in the door. He stared at them. One was purple and the other was pink. The Doctor groaned. Just what he needed, more giant, furry creatures.

"PAW!" Junior Gorg said running up to the purple Gorg. "Lookie, I got a fwaggle!"

He held Rose out to him. The female screamed and held up her hands. For one panic-stricken moment, the Doctor thought she was going to hit Rose, but she quickly backed away from her.

"Ah! A disgusting Fraggle, take it outside and kill it!" she screamed at Junior Gorg.

The Doctor's hearts caught in his throat. If the Gorg decided to kill Rose, there was little he could do to stop him. Thankfully, Junior Gorg shook his head.

"No, I want this Fwaggle, I'm gonna keep it as a pet!" he said to her.

The female Gorg sighed and looked at the male.

"Well, aren't you gonna do something about this?" she demanded.

"Let him keep the Fraggle, my little kumquat. It's not every day he catches one."

The female sighed.

"Alright, but keep it in a cage! Don't let that hideous thing get out and run all over the house." She said.

"YEAH!" Junior Gorg said jumping up and down. "I'm gonna go get the cage from the garden!"

The Doctor shrank further into the shadows as Junior Gorg ran out the door. The female Gorg looked at her husband.

"I hope you know what you are doing letting our son keep that thing in the house." She said to him.

"He's a boy, my dear, he just wants that Fraggle as a pet."

"I still don't like it." She replied.

They looked over as Junior Gorg ran back into the house with a birdcage in one hand and Rose in the other. The Doctor's hearts sank when he noticed Rose was starting to wake up. Junior Gorg sat the cage on a table, opened the door and put Rose inside. He closed the door and looked inside as Rose groaned and slowly woke up.

"Where…am…I?" she murmured as she got to her knees. "Doctor?"

"HELLO, FWAGGLE!"

Rose screamed and scooted to the back of the cage when she saw Junior Gorg staring at her.

"Doctor?" she said in a high-pitched voice

"Ooo, it's a girl Fwaggle!" Junior Gorg said. "I think I'll name you Pooka Gorg."

"For your information, my name is Rose, not Pooka Gorg."

Rose screamed as Junior Gorg began to shake the cage.

"Come on, Pooka, do something! Play with me!" he yelled.

Rose grabbed the bars of the cage and held on for dear life.

"Doctor, help!" she shrieked.

The Doctor could only watch helplessly from the corner.

"I gotta do something!" he said to himself. "I can't let that thing shake Rose to bits."

He was at a loss at what to do to help her and then, suddenly, he had an idea. Hoping that Junior Gorg wouldn't kill Rose in his absence, he ran back out the door towards the Fraggle's hole.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Where are you?" the Doctor muttered as he ran through the Great Hall searching for the Fraggles.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he finally located them by the swimming hole.

"GUYS!" he screamed, waving his arms frantically.

The Fraggles looked at him.

"There you are, Doctor," Gobo said. "I was just about to read the postcard from my Uncle Travelin' Matt. Wanna listen?"

"No, there's no time! Rose has been captured by Junior Gorg and I need your help!" he said to them.

"Oh no!" Mokey said leaping to her feet. "We have to help her!"

The other Fraggles leapt up, all except for Boober who stayed put. The Doctor glared at him.

"Well, you gonna help me?" he said.

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't get involved with Gorgs." He said. "I wanna live a long, full life."

The Doctor glared at him. He clenched his fist debating on whether or not to let Boober have it. He sighed when he decided it wasn't worth the trouble.

"Fine," he said. "You stay here and wash socks or count fungus or whatever it is you do. The rest of you follow me! We have to save Rose!"

He ran back towards the hole as the other four Fraggles followed after him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Quiet now, we don't wanna alert the Gorgs we're here." The Doctor said.

He and the other Fraggles slowly crept into the Gorg's house. Everyone except Mokey looked around nervously as they followed him in.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Red asked looking around. "There are Gorgs in here."

"Precisely, which is why I need you to shut up so they don't notice us!" The Doctor hissed at her.

He looked around and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the birdcage was still on the table with Rose sitting quietly in the middle of it.

"Rose!" he yelled at her.

Rose jerked her head around.

"Doctor?" she said getting to her feet.

She walked over to the bars and looked down.

"Oh, Doctor, you're alright." She said. "I was scared Junior Gorg got you too."

"Nah, I'm too clever for that big lummox." He said to her.

He indicated the Fraggles standing behind him.

"We're gonna get you out of there, Rose, just hold on." He said.

Rose nodded. She gripped the bars of the cage and watched as her rescuers looked around for some way to reach the top of the table. Occasionally, she would glance around making sure the Gorgs weren't in sight and then go back to watching her friends.

The Doctor ran around the table and stopped when he noticed the intricate carvings on the table legs. He walked over and examined them closely.

"I wonder," he muttered to himself.

He gripped a carving and hoisted himself up onto it. He smiled when he grabbed the next part of the carving and slowly began to climb up the leg towards the top of the table. The other Fraggles stopped and watched him.

"Great idea, Doctor!" Gobo said to him in a hushed voice.

Rose came over to the side of the cage facing them.

"Why? What's he doing?" she asked them.

"He's climbing up the table leg. Oh, he's so brave!" Mokey said.

Rose gripped the bars of her cage.

"Oh God, Doctor, be careful. Please don't fall." She said quietly.

The Doctor continued to climb until he reached the top. He paused when he noticed the edge of the table was still several feet away. He cursed as he looked for a way to reach it. He looked at the underside of the table and noticed there were numerous holes scattered throughout. A couple of them looked like drill holes, but the majority were natural imperfections in the wood. The Doctor tentatively reached out for a nearby hole, grabbed it and as the Fraggles gasped, he grabbed it with the other hand and hung suspended in mid-air. He looked around and saw a hole nearby, he swung his body back and forth and when he got some momentum going, reached out and grasped that hole. He repeated this maneuver over and over as he slowly, painstakingly went across the underside of the table to the edge. Finally, after several terrifying minutes, he reached the edge. He swung back and forth as hard as he could and then he kicked out and grabbed his hand up and around. He quickly brought his other hand up and with a grunt pulled himself up onto the top of the table.

"Doctor! Oh, Doctor, I'm so glad you're safe." Rose said as he sat down on the tabletop, exhausted.

"So am I." The Doctor muttered.

He slowly got to his feet and looked down at the Fraggles.

"I need you to find some rope or something so we can climb down." He said to them.

"You got it, Doctor." Gobo said. "Come on, gang, we have to help them get down."

The Doctor watched as they ran off in search of some rope.

"Now, see, the Fraggles aren't that bad, are they?" Rose said to him.

"No, I guess not. At least they're helping and not breaking into song and doing the riverdance all around the castle." He said.

He turned his attention back to his companion.

"Right, now to the task at hand." He said walking to the cage. "How am I gonna get this open?"

He stopped and stared at the padlock examining it as Rose stared at him quietly.

"The lock is big, maybe I can climb up and reach inside, unlock it manually." He muttered to himself.

Rose watched as he grabbed hold of the bars and began to climb up them towards the padlock. She was so busy watching him that she failed to see Junior Gorg until she heard him scream,

"ANOTHER FWAGGLE!"


	15. End of Fraggle Rock Part 7

Chapter Fourteen

The Doctor froze and stared up at the huge shaggy behemoth staring down at him with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh, goody, Pooka has a fwiend now!" he yelled.

The Doctor glanced down and noticed the other Fraggles had scattered. He muttered a curse wishing they could have stayed long enough to tie his shoelaces together. He gasped when Junior Gorg slammed his palm down on the table trying to catch him. He quickly ran around behind the cage.

"Come here, Fwaggle, Pooka needs a fwiend!" he said moving around the table towards him.

"No, Pooka doesn't!" the Doctor said.

Rose gasped as Junior Gorg slammed his hand down again and nearly tipped the cage over. The Doctor let out an angry yell at that.

"I swear if this cage rolls off the table and kills her, you are dead!" he screamed up at the Gorg. "And trust me, I will find a way to kill you too!"

He jumped back when the Gorg slammed his hand down again and narrowly missed him. He glanced over at Rose who was staring at him with wide-eyed fear.

"I can't keep this up, he'll kill me or hurt Rose." He muttered. "Think, gotta think, what can I do to stop him?"

Then, he suddenly had a flash of inspiration. Praying that his hunch was right, he ran to the front of the table.

"Hey, Junior Gorg!" he screamed.

Junior Gorg stopped short with his hand in the hand in the air.

"You know my name?" he said happily.

"Yeah, I do. And I wanna ask you a question!"

Junior Gorg lowered his hand.

"Okay, what's your qwestion, Fwaggle?" he said.

The Doctor smiled at him.

"Do you like to sing and dance?"

"YES!"

The Doctor nodded.

"Thought so." He muttered.

"Okay," he said to Junior Gorg. "We're gonna play a little game. I'll sing the instructions and you have to do what I say! Alright?"

"Ooooo, yes, this'll be so fun!" Junior Gorg said jumping up and down.

The Doctor glanced back at Rose who smiled and nodded at him.

"Alright then," he said looking back at Junior Gorg. "Just listen really close and do what I say!"

He looked up as a bouncy melody began to play overhead. He looked back at Rose.

"Wow, that was helpful." He said pointing up at the air.

"Well, you are gonna sing. Of course, it's gonna give you some kind of music you can sing with." She replied.

"Good, anything that will get this creature to go along with my plan is great." The Doctor said.

He turned his attention back to Junior Gorg who was hopping up and down, excited at the thought of playing a fun game with his little Fraggle friend. The Doctor listened to the music and began to clap his hands and step in time to the beat. He smiled when Junior Gorg did the same.

"Alright, here we go!" he said with as much excitement as he could muster.

"Yeaaaaaaaah!" Junior Gorg said jumping up and down.

The Doctor smiled at that. Despite his enormous size, he could see that the Gorg was basically a child who was just looking for a playmate.

_That doesn't mean he can tear Rose limb from limb playing with her though_. he thought.

He cleared his throat and kept up the clapping and stepping rhythm as he began to sing…

"I'm the Doctor and I'm here today

To sing a song and dance and play.

So feel the rhythm and get the beat

And clap your hands and move your feet!

And now it's time to get excited because

It's time to do what the Doctor does!"

"It's time to do what the Doctor does!" Junior Gorg sang.

The Doctor smiled back at Rose who giggled and gave him the thumbs up.

"Now…here we go!" the Doctor said.

He put his finger on the end of his snout.

"Take your finger and put it here

Right at the end of your nose, my dear.

And leave it there for the moment because

It's time to do what the Doctor does!"

"It's time to do what the Doctor does!" Junior Gorg sang as he put his finger on the tip of his nose.

The Doctor looked back at Rose who was laughing and clapping. The Doctor smiled and turned back around.

"Okay," the Doctor said taking his finger away from his nose and resuming his clapping rhythm.

Junior Gorg did the same and waited expectantly. The Doctor smiled up at him.

"Now, pick up your foot and hop around

Make the dust rise up from the ground

And do it as quick as you can because

It's time to do what the Doctor does!"

"It's time to do what the Doctor does!" Junior Gorg sang as he hopped around in a wide circle.

The Doctor hopped over to Rose.

"This is actually pretty fun." He said to her.

"Oh God, I'm so proud of you. You're doing exactly what they would do on the show! This is so great!" she said.

"Well, I always was a quick study." He replied proudly.

He kissed his finger and touched the tip of her nose.

"Hang on and I'll have you outta there in two shakes of a Fraggle's tail." He said.

Rose watched as he hopped back to the end of the table. He stopped and resumed his clapping and stepping and Junior Gorg stopped and did the same.

"Okay, now for this next bit, I'm gonna need Pooka out here to help me, so could you let her out?" he yelled up to him.

Junior Gorg stopped.

"You want me to let Pooka out of her house?" he said.

"Yes, she wants to play this game too!" the Doctor said pointing back to the cage.

Junior Gorg smiled.

"Okay!" he said.

He reached into his pocket, got out the key, and unlocked the lock. He took the lock off, put it and the key back into his pocket as Rose swung the door open, and climbed out. Rose ran over to the Doctor's side.

"See, told ya I'd have ya out of there." He whispered to her.

Rose nodded. They both looked up at Junior Gorg who was watching them intently. They both began to stomp and clap and Junior Gorg followed obediently.

"Okay, here goes!" the Doctor cried out.

He glanced at Rose.

"What should I do next?" he asked her.

"Um, touch your toes!" Rose replied.

The Doctor smiled.

"Good one." He murmured.

He cleared his throat.

"Now that you've finished with your nose,

It's time to bend down and touch your toes.

Do that for a moment because

It's time to do what the Doctor and Pooka does."

Rose giggled and both of them bent down and touched their toes while Junior Gorg did the same.

"Okay," he whispered to her. "Now it's time to get down off this table and get outta here."

They leaned back up, clapped and stomped and Junior Gorg followed along once more.

"Okay for this next one, Pooka and I need to be down on the ground because all of us needs lots and lots of room!" the Doctor yelled. "So, could you set us down on the floor?"

"Okay!" Junior Gorg said happily.

He held his hand out on the table and the Doctor and Rose climbed into it. Junior Gorg gently lowered them to the floor and they hopped off. They looked up at his huge grin and the Doctor suddenly felt guilty for what they were about to do. He could tell they were about to break his heart, but they had no choice. They couldn't stay and be his playthings for the rest of their lives. The Doctor figured if he was like any other kid, he would quickly get over it and move on to the next exciting thing. He and Rose ran out so Junior Gorg could see them and began the clapping and stomping once more. Junior Gorg followed with them.

"Okay…here goes…" the Doctor said.

He glanced at Rose and sang,

"Now it's time to dance around.

Shut your eyes and stomp the ground.

Spin and twirl and whirl because

It's time to do what the Doctor and Pooka does!"

Junior Gorg closed his eyes and spun around and around the room stomping and twirling while he sang, "It's time to do what the Doctor and Pooka does!"

The Doctor and Rose didn't follow along with him this time. They took the opportunity to run for their lives out the open door towards the Fraggle hole. By the time Junior Gorg opened his eyes, both of them were back down the hole and safely away from him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wow! That was incredible!" Gobo said when they were all back in the Great Hall.

Everyone was sitting together except for Rose who had gone to Mokey's cave to use the bathroom and freshen up.

"We were watching from the hole and we saw what you did! I can't believe you got Junior Gorg to go along with the game you thought up!"

"Well, everyone else likes to sing and dance around here; I figured he'd be no different." The Doctor said shrugging.

"Everyone except the Doozers." Mokey said pointing up to a Doozer highway beside them.

The Doctor glanced up at it. He stared at a little Doozer chain gang that was walking along the road carrying several Doozer sticks while another Doozer followed along behind, beating them with a whip.

"Faster, slaves!" the Doozer slave master said. "Or I will put hot Doozer sticks on your feet!"

"Oookay," the Doctor muttered.

He shook his head and turned his attention back to his friends.

"Anyway, I'm glad we finally made it back here. I thought for sure that Gorg was gonna hurt Rose." He said to them.

"Me too!" Mokey said. "Oh, you are just so clever to think up that plan of yours!"

"Yes, I am clever!" the Doctor said. "Thank you for noticing!"

He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked around at Rose. He sighed.

"Yes, Rose, I know I shouldn't boast about my intelligence to lesser beings because it gets annoying for you and---"

"No, Doctor, that's not why I'm tapping you on the shoulder," she said bending down. "I found the door."

"Door?"

Then it hit him and he looked at Rose excitedly.

"Where?" he asked.

"Over by Mokey's cave. We better go before it disappears!" She said.

He frowned.

"But we didn't do anything." He said.

"We got away from Junior Gorg without dying. Maybe that's what we were supposed to do." She said shrugging.

The Doctor nodded. He looked at the Fraggles who were staring at him in confusion.

"Um, the time has come for Rose and I to go." He said.

The Fraggles looked at each other.

"Aw, do you have to?" Wembley asked.

"Yes, we have to, we have this insane need to go and explore new places. We hate staying in one place for very long."

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Doctor and Rose," Gobo said. "And believe me, I know all about needing to explore."

"Will you ever come back and visit up again?" Mokey asked.

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"Um, maybe, who knows." He said shrugging.

The Fraggles nodded.

"Well, you be careful then and send us a postcard, eh?" Gobo said shaking his hand.

"Yeah, we'll try," the Doctor said.

He and Rose stood up. They embraced their new friends and then with a wave goodbye, quickly hurried off towards the door before it disappeared.


	16. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Part 1

Chapter Fifteen

The first thing the Doctor was aware of, was the horrifying stench. The second thing he was aware of, was he had incredibly furry, brown arms, and long fingers with sharp claws on them. The third thing he was aware of, was Rose was nowhere in sight. He leaped to his feet and looked around the stone room.

"Rose? Rose! Are you here?"

Panic gripped his hearts, and he ran all over the room. He looked behind the couch, the overstuffed chairs, the TV. He ran through the circular holes in the walls and checked the kitchen, the bedrooms, and a huge room that had a tatami mat covering the floor, and thin scrolls lining the walls with Japanese writing on them. There was no sign of her. Cursing the Cybermaster, he ran back into the main room. He paused, when he noticed four gigantic turtles were coming through the hole on the other side of the room. They were all approximately four feet tall, extremely muscular, and all of them had different colored bandanas wrapped around their heads. The one wearing the blue bandana was carrying two swords on his back. The one with the purple bandana had a huge staff that he was also carrying on his back. The turtle with the red bandana had two sharp, steel tridents tucked into the leather band around his waist, and the one with the orange bandana had two nunchucks, also tucked into his leather band. The four turtles stopped and stared at the Doctor. He gasped when the one wearing the blue bandana ran to him, fell to his knees, and looked up at him, reverently.

"We have returned from training, Master Splinter," he said, to him.

The Doctor stared at him silently.

"Okay," he said. "Is that good?"

"We have completed all the exercises you have given us, sensei," the turtle added.

"Um…good. Now…that you've…um, completed your exercises. Perhaps you can help me."

"Yes, Master Splinter?"

"You haven't seen a blonde haired woman around here, have you?"

The turtle frowned and looked back at the others. They shrugged.

"Ain't no blondes around here, Master Splinter," the turtle in the red bandana said. "Only woman that comes down here is April, and she's out on some assignment."

"Why are you looking for a blonde haired woman, sensei?" the turtle in the purple bandana said.

"And if you find her, can I take her out on a date?" the turtle in the orange bandana said, hopefully.

"No, you can not!" the Doctor said, forcefully.

"Nuts," orange bandana said.

Red bandana snorted.

"As if you would have a chance with her, Mikey," he said, to him.

"I'd have a better chance with her than you would, Raph," he shot back.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Mike grunted when Raph shoved him. Mike shoved back, and the two of them began a shoving match, while blue and purple bandana sighed and shook their heads. The Doctor blew air through his lips, as he stomped over and got between them.

"ENOUGH!" he yelled.

The two turtles stepped back and stared at him in shock.

"Sorry, Master Splinter," Mike said.

"Sorry, Splinter," Raph echoed.

He glowered at purple bandana, when he heard him giggling hysterically.

"Shut up, Don," he growled at him.

The Doctor threw up his hands. He was getting nowhere here. Rose could be in grave danger, and he was busy breaking up fights between giant turtle creatures. He had been trying to figure out exactly what cartoon this was. He figured Rose knew, but first, he would have to find her, and to do that, he needed these turtle things to calm down and give him a straight answer.

"For the last time, have you seen a…"

He glanced down, pushed up the sleeve of his red, karate gi, and stared at his furry arms. He thought for a moment, while the turtles stared at him silently.

"Um, have you seen any woman around here?" he inquired.

"The blonde woman, sensei?" blue bandana asked.

"Well, actually, she might not be blonde, she could have a different hair color now or even no hair, but she's most likely still a woman. Have you seen anyone like that?"

The turtles looked at each other.

"The only woman we've seen is April, sensei," blue bandana said.

"Okay, where is she then?"

"Out on assignment, Master Splinter," Don said. "Just like Raph said."

"Where, on assignment?"

The turtles shrugged.

"I could go find her, sensei," blue bandana said.

"Yeah, dude, send Leo out to find her. He's good at findin' stuff," Mike added, pointing to him.

The Doctor looked at him.

"Will you do that for me?"

"Of course, sensei, it would be an honor to assist you in any way I can."

Raph snorted.

"Teacher's pet," he muttered to Mike, who snickered and nodded.

The Doctor smiled. Now, at least, they were getting somewhere.

"Very well, then, go and find this April. I wish to speak to her."

Leo jumped up.

"At once, sensei," he said, bowing.

The other turtles watched while he ran to the hole. He turned his head and looked at them.

"Coming?" he said, to them.

They looked at each other.

"Well, actually, we were thinking of ordering a pizza and just letting you do all the work," Mike said. "That way when you get back, the pizza will be waiting for ya."

"Yeah right, Mikey, you'd have it all eaten in under two seconds," Don said.

"Besides, you need to come with me too," Leo said. "Master Splinter needs our help, and we'll get more done if we all search for April."

The other three turtles groaned.

"Darn, and I wanted to stay here and watch 'Samurai Blood Feud' on TV tonight," Mike said.

"Well, come on, let's get it over with, then," Raph muttered.

The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief, when all of them followed Leo out the door.

"Good," he muttered to himself. "Now, I can concentrate on finding the door, so when Rose does turn up, we can get out of here."

He closed his eyes.

"I just hope she's alright," he said, to himself.


End file.
